I’ve been enjoying The Adequate Man, a blog designed to help average dudes take care of themselves and their things in a manner more befitting a member of modern society, which is to say it helps them get laid. But what do you do when the fuck-moment is imminent? When it’s time to prepare the launchpad and blast off…
Twitter is mostly an awful cesspool. There are like thirty accounts maybe that aren't useless garbage.
First match of the tournament and look at this geek-ass motherfucker in front of me. Mom dressed him, stupid haircut, Wal-Mart glasses ass bitch. Nerdass bitch. Grinning like a damn puppy. "Good luck!" Nerdass chirps as he reaches across the table to shake my hand. Good luck, I think. Motherfucker, you ain't seen…
As you and your partner grow older,
Both Marshawn Lynch's silent treatment and the Patriots' Deflategate scandal are ruining football and corrupting America's youth. But which is worse? Keep these points in mind as you decide:
Jerome read the list again. He looked at the blue freeze pop in his hand and frowned.
"Yes? Oh. Oh... oh, no. This can't be... oh. Jesus... Well, scramble your jets! Let's fight them! Let's... a billion ships? Christ. Well... Okay. Yes. I'll make an announcement. Go to your family."
Derek Jeter screamed. His butthole also screamed, with farts. The farts screamed into a metal tube which carried them into The Great Flatulator, an ancient machine powered by certain gases — and Buttworld's only source of energy. They, the Buttworlders, always knew their planet would run out of gas someday. Literally.…
"Oh yeah! Oh, Derek Jeter! Your wiener rules!"
The bases were loaded with two outs in the bottom of the sixth and final inning. We were losing by a score of 16-12, the kind of score common to the 10- to 11-year-old age division, where the kids are enthusiastic about hitting and making errors in the field, as many errors as they can possibly make. I was up to bat.…
There are infinitely many whole numbers, clearly: If you have a finite list of them, take the biggest one and add one to get a new one. There are also infinitely many real numbers in bigger than or equal to 0, but less than or equal to 1: any positive decimal number less than one is in there, for instance, along with…
A circle of radius R is the set of points in the plane that are of distance R from a given center point. A circle jerk is a set of men masturbating (themselves or each other) while facing each other, all roughly the same distance from a center point.
Do you know what a save is? Sure, you say, a pitcher gets one for finishing a close game for his team, which is more or less correct, but what is a "close game"? What does it mean to "finish" a game? What if you enter with a 10-run lead, give up 9, and then get the win?
1. 12th
I want to think Dr. Manil Suri for agreeing to write this week's Mathspin. Unfortunately, he clicked the wrong thing and ended up posting it at the New York Times instead of Sidespin, so I'll just link it here: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/16/opi…
Cardiac Linfarction's excellent post about RSA assumed some knowledge of modular arithmetic. This is not a term that most people encounter in their lives, I would wager, so let me explain it to you right quick. I've attempted to organize the post so that you can stop reading whenever it gets too meaningless for you…
Same rules as in Sneijderman's game apply, except this time it's movies: One letter of the title will be changed, and it's your job to guess the modified title based on my description of the fake movie's plot (which will be partly based on the original movie). For example, "The story of Paul Bunyan's other pet, with…
