I watched it and it wasn’t terrible, but the lead actress isn’t very interesting and I’m not sure I buy her, or maybe it’s care about her character period. Her partner on the other hand ...

My life would be complete if I got to see John Cena elbow drop Donald Trump through a table.

You don’t know who Cary Elwes is?

I may go the rest of my life trying to recapture that moment. Like how someone remembers that fleeting first kiss, that moment of seeing someone for the first time and realizing you’re going to marry them, the joy of holding your child for the first time.

I’ve been informed by Deadspin’s Florida bureau that this is not strictly “the woods” per se, and that Gainesville “just looks like that.”

The real hero of this video is the dude on the Smith Machine pausing from his reps just long enough to shake his head dismissively.

So, this isn’t a mural from the Pawnee, IN courthouse?

Seriously, I bet this cat goes on all the fucking time about how she’s PRACTICALLY FAT by Hollywood standards, and how she’s SO REGULAR and she eats chee-tos and wipes her fingers on her designer fur, haha, just like you sad normals! Look at the cat falling over, OMG so relatable, not like those other cats with their…

Can someone offer a similar course for certain members of the GOP?

If you mean every line is a gift that you should let wrap you in a warm embrace of brilliance THEN SURE ITS HEAVY HANDED.

Yes to Margaret Atwood! Yes to graphic novels! Yes to staying in more!

We didn’t get any further than making out in this dream, though dream-me was sure thinking about it... And thank goodness for that, because while I was making out with Alice Cooper, he turned into a large black panther.

And a couple more short ones, just because the plethora of weird sex dreams I have could become a novel.

1) I was fucked by the entire cast of Magic Mike on the floor while surrounded by the entirety of my male friend group from college (15+guys).

Alex Trebek. We were going to town, sweaty and frantic and he kept yelling, “Who is....your daddy?” over and over again like they phrase it on Jeopardy. Suddenly he pulled out and I was standing naked in front of the studio audience, crying.

Trejo and Terry Crews! C’mon! I really like both of them. And even Luke Wilson? C’mon, Wilson!

He is a cute and good dog but he’s just not my type of dog. He’s just not.. a terrier.

I HAVE NO GENERATION THO

See, now, I think Sheetz looks more like James Hewitt... WAIT A MINUTE

And a sra memenay to you too, sir. I’m way too amused by this.