No wonder Taco Bell will win the coming Fast Food War.
Best place to Murder Death Kill your colon.

A failure pile in a sadness bowl!
New from KFC

I don't use Facebook.
Primarily because I'm an antisocial nutjob and the idea of constantly chattering with every relative, friend, coworker, and acquaintance I've ever had sounds like hell on earth.
But now because of principles!

Hi.
Urban poor chiming in here.
Born broke. Still broke.
The poor are already in the gates.
This election was mostly about race.

JackShitCare has a friendly ring to it.

Because, money.

Jenkins is gonna have you indicted and waterboard the shit out of you for that.

Why this news doesn't make me forget about the election at all.
I think this post is broken.

Fun Fact:
Spider-Man's webbing?

I've been trying to jump inside of movies like that kid in The Last Action Hero since late last night.
I got close at a midnight showing of Doctor Strange.
(Sidebar: theater ushers are really surly and strong nowadays.)
Wish me luck, I'm going to attempt Fantastic Beasts tonight.

I stopped reading when the article said she had reservations about the Indians.
I know.
I'm part of the problem.
I'll see myself out.

I would say it's just an opiate for the masses but you know. The masses actually have opiates.
Maybe satire is like a cookie.
And who doesn't like cookies?

I'm snarking as hard as I can sir.
Fer goddsakes I canna snark any faster!

I come to plagiarize Alex Jones and Glenn Beck.
They don't exist on my earth so I created a web series about them.
Netflix just picked it up.
Sorry the portal is opening up again gotta go.

Oh we make them play a separate World Series every year.
Just so we can watch them lose.
We're kinda fucked up in certain ways over here.

You mean "The Chelsea Bears"? That beloved series of books about a pair of adorable gay parents raising a brood of happy youngsters while imparting gentle life lessons to young readers?

Bit hard to have any of those nice features of a healthy republic when the legislative body grinds itself to a halt, essentially abdicating it powers to whichever branch is nimble enough to pick up the slack.

Nope. Everything is cool.

I'm sure Democrats will prevail by relying on the strength of their convictions.

*America peels off mask ala Mission Impossible revealing grinning Trollface*
*Deports a Mexican father*
*Defunds Planned Parenthood*
*Farts*
*Collapses into beer/porn/oxy stupor*