This show is great fun.
Consider my interest gauged.
Consequently, my interest is now sore and could use some rest and a lathering of coconut oil.

"Man…Michelle Obama's post presidency commencement speeches have gotten weird."

I don't see any Black people.
My monitor must be broken.
Stupid monitor.

The Internet thinks you're just like Hitler for that post.

DC stinks.

Apparently, I've taken $50,000 dumps.

Fun Fact:
That ain't mortar.

Wait…you're allowed to bring the videos home?!?

I resent the way her tits objectify me.

As long as you don't look under your bed, you should be able to sleep just fine knowing what you know.

Government mandated fake boobs would be pretty sweet.

Somewhere, a Warner Brothers exec. has just scrawled "NO GRITTIER! DARKER!! NO JOKES!!!" across the screenplay for Justice League before collapsing into loud, wet, childlike sobs.

See Rule of Acquisition #213: Don't pay for what you can get away with taking for free.

Stupid Sky God is Kanye's best album to date.

White Christians should form some exclusive groups or well-funded institutions that can advance their interests in zero-sum transactional social and political combat that leaves ethnic and religious minorities at a generational disadvantage so pervasive and thorough that even significant recent gains by progressive…

I can always tell when I'm drunk because everyone starts acting like a total asshole man. Why do, woah…why do people fucking act like that?

A documentary based judicial system is exactly what my marijuana and prostitution founded libertarian utopia needs to check these pesky balances!

Oddly, Wax Camille Cosby has filed for divorce and pledged to fully cooperate with investigators, citing an inability to stand idle in the face of the profound and protracted suffering of other wax women.

"You know…the best thing about the ladies made outta wax is that they're already immobile. Aww…" *makes silly face*
- Belgian Wax Bill Cosby

No, but my Disqus membership did.