Sounds like there's a new serif in town.

Kanye West Cover Band Names:
1. The Screaming Yeezys
2. The Ye Ye Ye's
3. The Gay Fishes
4. The Moody Mr. Kim
5. Blank Stare
6. Yeezus, Yehammed, Yuddha, and Yevishnu
7. Beyonce is the Best at Everything Ever

It's like my apathy gained sentience, put on a series of stupid outfits, and refused to shut the hell up.

Ok, that's one Internet.
Don't get cocky.

But without football no one will ever ask me if I'm "READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!"
And then I'll never again take a quiet moment to consider the answer.

His bones aren't racist but they are embedded within hundreds of pounds of racist soft tissues and organs.

As punishment he should be forced to dress like an idiot while injecting himself with drugs that will shrink his testicles.

Really?
*picks up phone, gets vicious scratches and rabid bites, realizes cell phone is still just a diseased squirrel*

Man, that is one racist dog.

The Jerk Circle: The circle for jerks.

Arr. A graduate degree in writing dinna prepare us to write original material.
Arrr.

I let Craigslist choose for me.

I have been eating more.

AGGHH!
Amy Winehouse has turned!
Aim for the brain!

Notice the way the Arabian peninsula has a corner in his ear?
Obviously this guy hates Jews.
Somebody start a corresponding hashtag and pre-boycott.
I'm busy.

People who say the opposite of love is apathy, and not hate, have never really hated, Internet.

A Tyler Perry tactical breaching team of shirtless, chiseled, handsome Black men has been dispatched to your location.

As a frustrated dancer myself who grew up in a predominantly frustrated dancer neighborhood and attended public schools whose students were majority frustrated dancers, I can understand how easy it would be for even a talented frustrated dancer to end up in a Bugs Bunny costume because they didn't have the financial…

Since when do they let audiences into depositions?

I ain't saluting no Johnny Depp.