"Why would he promise to stay here all night when our silence and scowls clearly indicate that we want him to leave?"

"Yes"
- Roger Goodell

Every time I think someone has finally come to visit me.
Every damn time.

All books are evil people.
Hitler wrote a book.
Case closed.

Bill Cosby: Unrepentant, Unconvicted, Unbelievable that no one has hit him over the head with lead pipe or whatever else is handy yet

To be fair, the website tech support staff is on Quaaludes.

We measure alcohol in ruined relationships.
You can buy a Distant, a Hostile, a Fake Chummy or Lush, a Sloppy Sex Pass on Friend, a Felony Assault, or an In-Law Fuck.

Fun Fact:
Beers are free and consumption is mandatory at all minor league baseball games is what I tell my wife.

That's why I enjoy all of my cinematic entertainments through the soothing haze of whiskey and lonely teary sadness.

Well when I think of flamers and scolds, Tyler Perry is at the top of the list.

get off my cloud
ಠ_ಠ

I skipped the spoilers and went straight to the comments!
WOO HOO!!!
I'M THE SMARTEST PERSON EVER BORN ANYWHERE FOR ALL TIME!!!!

I read the Kids article in the New York Times because I'm not a filthy hippie.
It informed me that Rosario Dawson is 36 years old too.
Now I wish I was as accomplished as your average filthy hippie.

"You wanna play pinball or take part in a greasy fisting?"
"Ew gross."
"I know The Wizard of Oz is the only machine with no line again."

Supermon from Jamaica is de best 'ero in de worl bredren.

He prefers Batmennifer.

I hope the new movie will deliver on the town wide enema that was promised.

None of that made any goddamned sense.

The things I could do with a black box covered in buttons and switches…

Doc Brown: The Original Minion