Square cut pizza is awesome for one thing...the middle pieces that are end to end toppings with no crust edge.... Cut small enough and I can almost pop one right in my mouth (I may or may not have nearly choked doing this).

Or if it is detroit style pan pizza. That’s ok.

IRON EAGLE

if its not Sicilian, it shouldn’t be cut into squares. end of discussion.

We always called them “crater burgers” on account of them looking like they’d spent a million years or so having their surface buttfucked by incoming meteors.

Still hoovered ‘em right down every Friday when it was hamburger day, though.

Even the glossy, sweaty, skin-like textured school pizza doesn’t hold a candle to what our middle school called “traveling nachos” - a snack bag of Fritos popped open and a ladle of “throw-whatever-is-leftover-this-week-in-a-pot” chili scooped in there. The jokes about where exactly you had to “travel” after…

Summer after high school I was a delivery driver at a new pizza place in my town. For some reason the owner insisted we cut the round pizzas square. Since it was new, most people didn’t realize at first. Any time we got a repeat customer they’d request we cut it normally. No idea why the owner still insisted on…

The head lunch lady was always 6 feet tall and wore a mumu with matching hairnet. I have blocked out all other memories of public school lunch.

Nearly everyone restaurant in Chicago that isn’t a national chain cuts its thin crust pizza into squares.  This is the proper way to cut pizza.

As memory serves, that pizza barely qualified to be given the name. And the burgers were always both frightening and with patties quite possibly made from something very far from being beef.

I still have a soft spot in my heart for cafeteria salisbury steak. I’ve tried other frozen ones from the grocery store and none of them really nail it.

This whole thing feels like an attack on my childhood.

I had drunken sex with Lambchop behind a Hardee’s dumpster in Barstow CA in 1972. Shari Lewis wasn’t present and Lambchop told me in confidence that that Shari Lewis who whip her with zip ties until the fuzz came off the felt. I believe Ellen Barkin and Lampchop.

too.... much..... chinnnnnnn ugh *dies*

That’s the body you get when using the discount “Get Out” doctor.

That dude’s totally about to rape someone.

Point 1 - There is no way 500,000 people show up. I would be surprised if it was any more than 200, and I think that’s generous. This is the internet, it’s full of people who are clicking on the latest trending thing, and their scheduled date is two months away - well after the internet will have gotten bored with it.…

you mean 4 easy payments of $99.99

In defense of Sue’s college, it’s not clear from her post that she actually got a degree. 

May a black family buy your house while you're in prison.