Or, and hear me out, you just take those things off when you get to work, and put them back on before going home. That’s how I got through my winter commutes in Boston (though I wasn’t wearing scrubs. I wish my job would let me).

But scrubs can be retrofitted with some long underwear underneath, or you can put baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt on top.

I am firmly of the belief that the level of cutesy bullshit a couple engages in in public is directly proportional to the quantity of extracurricular fucking fucking they're doing outside of the relationship. 

Blythe ca,scariest town I’ve ever fucking been in bar none. We rolled in after midnight to the supermarket parking lot filled with trash blowing in the wind,next to an abandoned burned out store front. Glowing eyes(hundreds of them) blinked in the recesses and as our headlights hit them you saw feral cats scatter in…

Exhibit A:

Anderson Spit Pea Soup makes it worth the risk. They also have the best Monte Christo in the state. I know, Disneyland has a great one, but it’s $22 a la carte.

Married 14 years now. Never done this, even in private. I don’t know anyone who does, either. It is unbecoming of any adult in my eyes.

No, you’re Schmoopy!

Agreed. When the guy said “You never see older couples cutesy baby talk each other” he answered his own question.

That’s because older couples realized how goddamn annoying they were!

Couples who endlessly refer to each other as “babe” should be fed through a tree shredder.

I had an ex-gf who loved doing that shit, and holy fuck I hated it. I hated it even when it wasn’t in public. Because that shit is irritating. 

Been married almost 18 years, and still call my wife Honey Bunny some times.

Tulare stand up!

I’m not schmoopy, YOU’RE schmoopy!

I know a guy who posts a picture every time he and his wife leave the house and they all include the phrase “my love”. They have more marital problems than the Clintons.

But when my wife and I are out at dinner with them we are part of the equation. That is the entire point. Do whatever makes it work when in private, but realize that at some point when you’ve literally spent 20,000+ hours in each other’s presence, the rest of us don’t view it as cute displays of love, but wonder if…

Guys who have been married for longer than 6 months and refer to their old lady as “my bride” give me the creeps.

Yes. Yes, I do.

When the baby talk ends and you realize you were just using it as a cute cover for your relationships real problems, you two will break up, or you’ll get married and the baby talk will get more and more sarcastic and undermining and she’ll leave you while you sleep because you were never really a man to her and she…