These conversations reaffirm my best decision to date: not to procreate. I know rationally spanking kids is wrong, but damn if I wouldn’t spank my kids if I were a parent.

The problem is the young people will just take their place. As long as you have white people, you are going to have new racists. (I say this as a white dude) This country gives White folks our Racist Card and birth and YOU have to turn it in, no one will ever take it away from you.  And hell, if you do turn in your…

This seems to be a THING in Texas!

8. To be able to rock a “Vote or Die” shirt to the cemetery plot of your archnemesis—who died last month—just so you can say “I guess we both made our choices.”

This is a Chapelle Show worthy idea. 

To be fair, there is NO drug (especially and particularly alcohol) that makes one MORE endearing to anyone.  All they can do is make you think this is the case. 

I’ve said this before, but I’m like our reader here in that I am extremely sheltered and have never done coke, and I am scandalized whenever I see people doing it. I am a child of the 1980s, which means I grew up with Nancy Reagan and Just Say No

Well OF COURSE Sean was gonna end up on stage, he is literally connected mouth to ass with Trump! 

Please, please, please do NOT let my parents see this dumb show!  I’ve got enough problems as it is being the Liberal Atheist Heathen Child without my aging parents creating a fake FB account to woo me back to the Lord. 

We who are about to Gray, salute you.

Are White Men America’s Biggest Terror Threat? We Checked

Same.  Every damn time he preaches it. 

OK, I know I am an evil person, but these kids got some killer moves! I mean leg sweeps, pin an jab! Lil dude on the bottom was nailing some knee strikes. There is an MMA title in their future.

I work Wall Street adjacent as a lackey/minion/dude who needs money and the answer is no.  They think he is a fucking moron.  But a useful moron. 

I am going to carve this on granite, cart it up the Chappaqah and leave it outside her house.

OK...that is WAY worse than my Mom’s little joke!  WHO PRETENDS TO DIE TO FREAK OUT THEIR KIDS!?

Is it OK to scare the hell out of your kids on a regular basis?

The phobia predates the 80's but the physical object came out of the AIDS hysteria in the 80's.  Before that, people who draped or hovered were just considered weird.  :)

Ain’t no ass cover gonna help  you with THAT!

People were doing that but they were the strange germaphobe types, but the seat covers became ubiquitous by the late 80's.