Yeah, and if it is piss I wipe off with toilet paper and sit down. If it’s shit, I move stalls. My ass isn’t gonna to catch nothing.

Stop using them. Just sit on the goddamn toilet.

This is some shit we would pull in high school.

Well now I am gonna need a new sign...

Pumpkin Spice belongs in a Pumpkin Pie AND IN NO OTHER PLACES!

He’s out building houses, I bet good hard money he outlives the fat sack of grease infesting the west wing. 

Can we get Jimmy Carter to...leave the his house... and get on the Georgia election thing? Damn!

All of these butthurt feeling some other white folks are feeling could be alleviated if, you know, they didn’t click the fucking link. Michael isn’t showing up in the Cracker Barrel and pulling a Kanye while they are eating their bland ass Macaroni and Cheese! To read what he says, they gotta do what I do, click the…

Local news is reporting the neighbors are banding together to run her flat ass out of Flatbush.

Dave’s from the Email of the Week (sadly I am NOT that Dave) deserves a damn medal for public flatulence!  Thank YOU sir, for your service.

Let’s not forget how the Cherokee nation has worked to cull the tribal rolls of descendants of slaves the Cherokee owned prior to the Civil War. The Nation has vested economic and political interests in controlling tribal membership, and that’s their right, but it doesn’t make them RIGHT.

Coming from a guy with a mushroom dick...

I am kinda wondering if the bloom is off the shit rose for Donny and his rallies. Fox won’t carry them live and now he’s booking shows in smaller and smaller venues, pretty soon he won’t be able to get an open mic slot at the the Chuckle Hut. 

Perhaps it is a stretch to ask, but I would like to have a verbal conversation with you to share my thoughts and hear what you have to say.

Well, I mean who hasn’t had THAT happen?!

Please like you’ve never done an in office grind on a company time/

The Defense is willing to stipulate to this. 

I am gonna due a lukewarm take on the Ranch/Fries thing.  My got to Ketchup, but a good ketchup mustard blend is tight.  If I get the nugs and sauce and I have leftover sauce, I am gonna chunk a fry in there for sure.  BBQ is sold, Ranch is good, but Hot Mustard is fucking sublime.  Sometimes, just SOMETIMES, I get…

I am all good with spiders, but if a BEE gets in that car there is gonna be a wreck if I can’t pull over and get the hell out of that car.  The bee can HAVE the car, I just want OUT. 

The Platinum Level White iPhone will also round up 65 white women to lie for you if you are even nominated to the Supreme Court!