Deviled eggs: I believe the deviled egg is one of the most underrated dishes in the cookout industry. A good deviled egg is filling, easy to eat and not hard to make. That’s why I always bring deviled eggs to a cookout, put them in the back of the host’s refrigerator, act like I forgot to take them out, take them home…

What  the fuck!  This country is about two weeks from Kristalnacht!

Legally, I am not allowed to say.  All I can say is that was MY HOT DOG GEORGE!  MY HOT DOG!

Oh HELL yes I would petty up my funeral, shit I keep a list of people on my fridge! Now, most of these people aren’t gonna give a damn about not being invited, some of them don’t even know me. (Fuck you George Clooney, you know what you did even if you don’t know my name!) Funeral petty is the last act of small, angry…

They would be begging for him not to hurt ‘em.

I would certainly pay attention in THAT class.

OK, sure

We can build an ENTIRE Internet and still can’t settle on a Universal Porn Classification System

Solid take.

I think Trump, like me, soured on Penthouse back when they started showing ladies peeing in the photos.

He had nothing to do with slavery nor was he fighting to defend it. He was fighting to protect his homeland that he was told was being invaded by the northerners.

Hard to arrest a fellow “club” member yah know. 

If I had a book published I sure as hell would tattoo it on my arm, so that way at least one other person might read SOME of it.  (The person who tattooed it on my arm.)

Of course!  Beto is handsome and kissable, not at all punchable!

Yes, I still remained shocked he could get elected even in Texas...I mean how can you vote for a guy you want to punch in the mouth just from seeing his face?

Beto CAN win in Texas, which is saying a lot about him and the times.  Do I think he WILL win?  Probably not.  But damn, I sure enjoy dreaming about it, just because I hate Ted so very much. 

I’ve never done that.

I would crawl out across the piss soaked floor screaming about someone stealing my chair.

As someone whose body temperature skyrockets the second the dew point reaches 60 degrees, I have long advocated for the right of my sweaty, hairy brethren to wear whatever clothes they need to keep this planet’s growing, deathly heat at bay. If you gotta wear shorts, wear shorts. If you need to free your feet and you…

I confess, I brought voters in on buses from Jezebel.