Oh god, I’m going to be chasing the dragoon of that orange juice I drank in Belem for the rest of my life. The guy manning the cart asked if I “could wait a few minutes, my wife is bringing more oranges from the grove.” It shattered my expectations of how good orange juice could be.

“We go to war”

Yeah, I don’t know what I will do now. Be a good employee and loving husband?

the longest tenured Deadspin writer, at that.

Dyed cheddar, no less.

Cincinnati chili is delicious. People too close-minded or too eager to jump on the hater bandwagon to give it a real try are missing out, and I wish they’d be quiet and let people enjoy the things they enjoy for once.

Cincinnati chili is delicious. People too close-minded or too eager to jump on the hater bandwagon to give it a real try are missing out, and I wish they’d be quiet and let people enjoy the things they enjoy for once. 

Calling it immigrant food or explaining it’s roots (which are fairly obvious from the spice profile) doesn’t make it taste any better. Like what you like. I love most Greek food, but I would have stuck with that pizza you described. Or probably anything else on the menu. Sweet ground meat sauces are not my first…

I think you just finally nailed down why I side with the legions of people who think Cincinnati chili is a culinary atrocity:

You know Ivanka Trump keeps a six pack of $20 marshmallows in her desk drawer in the White House. She opens the drawer at least 27 times a day and looks forlornly at them, reminiscing on simpler times. Then, on the 28th occasion, she gently removes one from the package, holds it to her eyes like she’s looking at the…

I admire your restraint by not referring to your baking as a “train wreck.” It would have caused this thread to go off the rails. At least the cakes look choo-choo-able. 

NO RECLINER! Barbaric!

King Arthur Flour recommends greasing the pan and then lightly dusting it with sugar right before pouring the batter into the pan - the sugar will stay liquid in the heat and help the cake slide out as long as you get to it quickly enough. Although I don’t think that would help with the fancy pans, those are just…

They make a lot of sense for wine distributors who have to taste out samples of expensive bottles with potential customers, but probably not a ton of sense for the rest of us. What kind of monster opens a bottle of wine and doesn’t finish it, ya know?

basket of tea

In defense of the Coravin, it isn’t because you can’t open a bottle of wine, it’s so you can have a glass of nice wine without opening the bottle so it won’t start to turn in case you don’t want to drink the whole bottle right aw

First, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I also recommend the C-3PO prostate massager. He’s fluent in over 6,000,000 forms of communication, and pleasure is definitely one of them.

There was this annoying beeping sound coming from the kitchen one night. It was coming from the oven for some reason. I pulled the oven out from the wall, checked all the wires and everything in the back and still could not figure out why there was a beeping sound. I literally unplugged it, took the entire back apart,…

I once drove white-knuckle through a massive thunderstorm for a couple hours on the way to relatives for a holiday. Stopped at a gas station and was so stressed from the drive I guess my brain didn't go through its normal unconscious checklist, so I just filled up, got in the car, and drove off. Three seconds later I…