"The only information I could find about him was a 2008 conviction for grabbing a Hong Kong police officer’s breasts, successfully appealed on the grounds that he was very drunk and needed something to hold on to."

Actually they don't. Movies shouldn't be awarded ideological soundness points. If it's a shitty movie it's a shitty movie, and dude doesn't get a pass.

Yeah, some of the connections were a little iffy, but overall it was fantastic. I really like James Burke’s voice, it’s one of those ones like Morgan Freeman’s that just sounds like it’s telling you The Truth.

So what I’m getting from this is that your mother murdered a guy for his life savings and then blew it all on hookers and blow. Checks out.

Well that’s your problem right there, amateur. (Actually by the time that guy was a thing, I don’t think I had cable any longer.)

They used to show Connections all the time! And… half hour shows on the Assyrians or whatever the fuck that were really awesome when you were stoned and felt like you should learn something to make up for the brain cells you were destroying.

I disagree.

No you won't.

Or… wait for this one, it'll BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND:

I have not got Humble Monthly because I spend too much on fucking games, but there's been at least two games from each month that I would have bought a bundle for. Sigh…

That photo only makes me a little angry, but still, some anger.

Yeah, I really don't get the upset over the buttsecks. It was very consensual, and a pretty funny line.

It was a pretty good film?

You really shouldn't have married your mother, dude.

I had never heard of her, and when I read the headline I was very suspicious, but it turns out that yeah, I've seen a whole bunch of these, and heard about almost all the others, and never for a minute thought they were the same person.

Yeah, but they’ve got to be a case of Chekov’s Reincarnator, no? There’s got to be some reason why they’re there.

To be fair, if I was a horse, I would have farted on him. After trampling him, of course, and then setting him on fire. With my… fire hooves?

Less furries.

Mom?

I thought that was your mum's number.