Nor my Sweet as Candy thigh-shaped body pillows.

Same here. I browse for titles I’ve never heard of quite often, but I guess I too am part of the “almost no one.”

This is why I never run in the morning.

Popular team upset they’re popular.

Except Yankees broadcasts. I’d rather listen to Costas sing in the shower than the Yankees crew.

Considering the greedy, self-absorbed A-holes they ended up raising, “Greatest Generation” deserves their title revoked. Or, at the very least, an Asterisk.

It’s not you, Bryan. Society is out to get all the lying dipshits.

I like the goaltending idea, but the NFL would likely institute an AVP style net-minder to let us know if the leaping defender touched the crossbar.

Dolphin-safe canned tuna. And prisons. Thought not together.

A true storyteller. Love this guy’s music.

if you max out your 401k contributions and healthcare options you would only be making $6/hr.

If a Jersey Mike’s opened in every existing Subway location, I’d be happy.

I can’t remember which troop I was in, but I really enjoyed my stint in Pack 88. Pinewood Derby Champion, bitches!

The Aflac duck sounds better than half the anthem singers.

And to think I thought he almost, *almost* sounded reasonable during his appearance on Bill Maher.

The great thing about National Parks in the USA is ~90% (no, I don’t have statistical studies to back up this claim, only years and years of experience) of the visitors never stray more than a half mile from the parking lot. You can very quickly outpace thousands of visitors by heading a mile down any unpaved trail.

My experience is that the popularity of cherry blossom festivals completely ruins Kyoto in April. After 3 days of dealing with the crowds, we left and had a much more enjoyable time in Kobe and other areas in Kansai. Koyasan is a particularly great spot to visit if you need a break from Kyoto. Though I’m also partial…

And Merry Christmas to you, Yankee Fan.

Your move, Cleveland.

And people still don’t believe we evolved from apes.