“Tight-ass pants”

Ah Ah Aaaaah, my genitals!

But being a vampire isn’t just about eternal life. It’s about never being outside in the day time again, never eating another piece of garlic bread, and never knowing if you’re having a bad hair day because mirrors don’t work anymore.

Wait, if you’re killed by a grizzly bear, do you become a grizzly bear? Asking for a friend.

You don’t bone a vampire, Drew.

[Vampires breathe sighs of relief]

Vampires are undead creatures with very sharp fangs who could, at any moment, bite you and usher you into the eternal purgatory of the living dead.

I worked for a company that let you design your own credit card. We had to make a list of all the names we wouldn’t let appear on that credit card. 12 year old me would have loved that assignment.

I’ve said it before, but some of the biggest dumbfuck pieces of shit I went to high school with ended up in the local PD (most after not being able to hack it in the military).

I like that they called it what it was without buzzwords. It wasn’t the “what unknown paradigm shifts could undermine our targetted branding” or something.

Nothing would be greater than the Celtics AND the Lakers passing on him and him ending up in Philly.

I’m still hoping Boston trades the first pick to Toronto who takes Ball. I want to see anarchy on draft day at the Ball family table.

As someone who lives in an urban area, I find my willingness to even comprehend why people in rural areas elect bigoted, anti-poor politicians dwindling. It’s not because I think poor and lower-middle class urban voters make better decisions (I’m from the borough that birthed Rob Ford) but in the end, the policies…

He is literally everything the GOP claims to hate.

The denial/stupidity combination.

Jesus, there is no end to the grift trump is running. I’m exhausted thinking about it. How is it possible that he still has an 80% approval rating among his base?

For people that constantly bitch about “snowflakes” and “safe spaces,” they sure get pissed off about every little thing.

He said people should be lynched, who advocate for the thing Moore advocates for (prominently and very actively, no less). It’s like someone looking at you in blue sneakers saying “people wearing blue sneakers should be killed.”

Racist white men are the most fragile, scared and sensitive people in the country, which I think has a lot to do with these fits and power trips.

I live in DC, I’m one of those “so-called” liberals. Sadly, the Democrats didn’t run a liberal this year. They nominated an establishment warhawk. So, I voted for Jill Stein.