Gosh, I hope getting to meet Messi was worth him losing his security job.

“Some say it was the Zika virus, some say it was the dirty water...but the real reason behind the start of the zombie apocalypse at the 2016 Rio Olympics was a small group of hungry reporters, unable to find any sustenance other than the warm bodies of their fellow scribes.”

Reporters have the tallest platform and the loudest microphone

Wow, who would have thought that pursuing a career in journalism could lead to low cash reserves and occasional fear of starving?

dude also complained about getting a poor signal on his phone. and ya thought the female gymnasts were the only ones who dealt with uneven bars

Wacky and El Señor Detestable on 590, The Sports Holocaust.

I’d say this is a shit show, but the aquatic events haven’t started yet.

It’s actually the exact same protocol and the NFL is just counting on the players not being able to remember it.

Another piece of American exceptionalism ruined by the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

If Deadspin’s gonna report on Spanish-language stories, it’d be cool if you guys had someone on staff who can speak the language instead of using Google Translate and secondhand accounts. It’s come up before in soccer articles, but this is an especially weird example. It’s not like this is a bad article or anything,…

• I believe the defending NBA champs should wear championship belts to every game.
  

That’s the joke.

Unless that was the intention. Google Translate is terrible, and his post is about what most translations come out as, at best.

Was this comment run through Google Translate?

I think that through the translation of this translator Google is a very loose form of reporting. you do not have someone on staff who can speak Spanish? I can not even understand that the “sabotage “ comes in?

Fun fact about the Deadspin staff: It is a colonial organism made up of many super super small things called morons.

How noble. You’re a person of great principle.

Pictured above:

How come all the guys named “Goddamn” are stuck sitting in the upper deck? And why are their surnames always space-related?