That’s not the Archer I want to see emoji stickers from...

I’ll throw Beverly Hills Ninja in there for good measure.

If they want to know that - TRULY know that - then they should go ask the NSA. Not Apple.

Let's just, like, any time someone wants to interview Caitlyn, they just go to the Wachowski sisters instead? Can we do that? For a better tomorrow?

On the other hand, look how they handled their own narrative in the Matrix sequels.

No. Employees are being intimidated by a culture of surveillance and mistrust. Each employee is seen by management as a potential criminal eve before any crime has been committed. If you can't see the Orwellian themes on display here, then you must be blind, an idiot, or a blind idiot.

Caitlyn Jenner SHOULD get more shit for her beliefs than her gender identity, since her beliefs are stupid, and she had basically nothing to do with being trans. So, yay, if that’s the way it’s going down for her.

Also known as the Seventh-Inning Kvetch

Or Jesse Ventura:

True fact, all villains get their start by being dipped in something terrible.

Tears be gone.

The IOC would feel really bad about this, but in their defense, the bribes were exceptionally large.

True, but I'd bet the US still has at least a 2:1 asshole ratio over Canada.

Okay. Sort of like a modern day freak show? I guess I thought that was what elections were for.

Right? If we are explicitly being told to vote for her because she’s a woman, I think it’s fair for someone to point out that just because she’s a woman doesn’t mean she’d be a great President.

We are the team that drinks before noon, right?

Even NPR let this shit slide this morning without bringing up Anthony Kennedy, or even asking how often the situation had come up before. It was ridiculous.

“Your job doesn’t stop until you’re voted out, or until your term expires,” Obama said of the Senate,

Jesus Harmon Killebrew Christ. +1

Every other outlet was more than happy, for business reasons, to announce that the anti-Beyoncé rally was real, and happening, and preposterous. Any more preposterous than the hordes of reporters standing out in the rain right now waiting for phantom reactionaries?