What the actual fuck is that guy trying to say? No, seriously, not in a, “Boy, that guy’s point is bad” way, but in a more literal, “What the actual fuck is that guy trying to say” way.

What Mitchell forgets is that the Browns have always been tired of winning.

I thought that was the inauguration crowd. My mistake.

His knee hitting the ground had no bearing on the play.

I am humbled by their bravery.

You’re projecting.

Torok seems to have lost his moral compass here.

+1:100 scale

This is how legends are made.

So like ... can I have maternity leave? Affordable prenatal care? Any treatment for my battered lady-bits after birth? Help with childcare? (My parents live very, very far away and I really like what I do for a living.) Will my daughters be able to get jobs where they won’t be harassed by their employers, or is their…

He’s black.

Saints fans keep this up and maybe the players will start wearing paper bags so they aren’t seen near these morons.

Silver lining: He tipped appropriately.

Porkchop remembers why Doug got into this race.

You want to know why Herm did that? Because you play to win the game.

Melania Trump failed to sign the envelope containing her ballot, so it wasn’t counted. Ivanka Trump sent her ballot on the day of the election, so it wasn’t counted. Jared Kushner never sent the absentee ballot he requested, so it wasn’t counted.

“The president of the United States managed to vote successfully, but was unsuccessful at remembering his own birthday”