“Our next caller is Andrew from Tennessee. What’s on your mind, Andrew?”

Yeah I am weirdly impressed by her. Wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to push her into an active volcano, but impressed nonetheless.

Bonus points for anyone that happens to know who’s portrait adorns this particular room and perhaps was hanging right behind Donald Trump’s big dumb fucking head

I think installing Sanders as spokesperson may be Trump’s most actually legitimately genius move. She is such a clod, her whole manner is so insultingly dumb, she says such infuriatingly awful things, all the time, but because she’s a woman, and because she stays deadly calm while spinning Trump’s lies she doesn’t…

If anyone can sympathize with trainwreck movies with awful reviews, it’s Adam Sandler.

The diaphragm is the main muscle involved in breathing. I think you may be thinking of the birth control device, which is not what Jennifer Lawrence tore.

“How would you like to publicly discuss your bad promo tour on a trainwreck of a movie that led to a painful break-up?”

I’m genuinely confused how you got that out of my comment.

People were too busy shouting “YAAAASSSS QWEEN” and calling people Bernie Bros to realize that an astonishing number of people who don’t live in NYC or California hate Hillary the way most people hate fire ants.

‘also had a fight with his ex-girlfriend’ - way to underplay the battery conviction he got for beating the shit out of the woman. But hey, he didn’t rape her so kudos.

Cub Reporter: “Mr Elway! Mr. Elway! is there any chance you bring in Kaepernick to compete for starting QB before the end of the season?

God, I haven’t seen such an obvious excuse to go out of one’s way to casual note one’s Ivy League heritage since I was at Yale.

Huge miss steak

Of the week?

“Hold my beer.”

Turkeys very well known for chasing children yet dumb Obama pardons one every year. Is weak on turkeys, many fowls laughing at us. I will be strong. Butterball stocks up!

Yes, inserting a cigar into consenting woman’s vagina is much, much better than grabbing a non-consenting woman’s crotch. So much so that I wonder why you would even compare the two unless you yourself are some kind of lurking sexual predator.

I read that as “catch me I’m going to fart,” which would be an appropriate response to all Jameis Winston stories.

Yes! Everyone call your Sens. Particularly McCain, Collins, Toomey & Heitkamp (first three supported Manchin - Toomey, last is a Dem who crossed the aisle for that last vote).

It’s true that one of the refs called it correctly.