I thought the "PENDING APPROVAL" thing was supposed to protect us from seeing bestiality on Kinja. Fucking slackers.

"- Sent from my BlackBerry"

He may be a lot of things, but Adrian Peterson is no drug abuser. "A little weed" is just a term of endearment for his children.

I am going to go out on an intellectual limb here, but I'm guessing Adrian Peterson isn't really all that bright.

This is way funnier than it has any right to be and is making me giggle like an idiot at my desk.

Sometimes there's a puppy in the office!

hi its me Bill Simons. Yes I will write the sports stories. Thank you,

How do you not kick onside here? Worst case scenario is that they fall on it at like their own three yard line. Best case you're first and goal on their five or so.

This will dog him the rest of his career.

"people"

Internet commentator: "How dare that man not give 100%! Blah blah blah, rabble rabble (posts while at work)"

I can work on cars and build thing with my hands. Maybe he couldn't do that!

but scrubs are scrubs, and no amount of practicing with them is going get a guy 100 percent ready to run with the first team.

Screw you Tom- that was the best interpretation Twelve Angry Men I've ever seen.

I generally oppose the idea of people rotting away in prison as it seems like a terrible waste of a person. But these guys just do not give a fuck. These are not guys who "have had a troubled past and are turning their lives around". These are guys who should be removed from the world. It was only a matter time…

I posted this when the story hit a few days ago, but I'll say it again . . . did you HEAR this guy's head hit the floor? Did you freaking HEAR it? The sound is between :09 and :10, and it is horrifying. If you have speakers or headphones, you will be sickened.

If you have a tattoo above your shoulders, you can't come to the game.

Don't you talk about Ace Combat like that.

"Both of the attackers, who are brothers".