Oddly enough, his heteronormativity is showing in that quote.

"Oh please." - Woody Allen

I think we can all agree that, in any situation, when the folks at FIFA put their heads together the result will be dizzying.

Did you... read the article?

Call me a conspiracy theorist...

Fail.

Even though this guy is a total dick; I must admit that he has a phenomenal mustache.

No other school (or sports team in general) approaches the self-idolization of Notre Dame. No "Patriot Way" or "baseball played the right way" or any of that crap is in the same ballpark as the pedestal Notre Dame puts itself on. For decades they have successfully promoted themselves as a legendary program, and for…

But who is more offensive: this woman, or Chip Kelly?

Boy, slaves have it pretty good nowadays.

Looks like we're going to have to start saying that the manager is IN-Sanesbury, hahaha am I right guys?

I was about to post this exact same comment, nearly word for word.

Even though the writing appears to be adorably cringe-worthy, I honestly shouldn't criticize it when she's written more than I have. All I've ever written was this stupid comment.

And I'm here today because I did the right thing

Her name is familiar — isn't she going to be in the upcoming Star Wars film? This is clearly a hint that her character will be frozen in clay much like Han Solo was in carbonite.

1. Use kicking skills to qualify for US men's soccer team (all they do in soccer is kick, right? Like punters?)

That Sports Illustrated article is cringe-worthy

Sorry, but you know exactly what you did and why you did it. You're acting like your readers are all idiots who will easily fall for that excuse. Coincidentally, this Patterson guy is also acting like his audience is full of idiots who will easily fall for his excuse. Isn't there a certain irony in criticizing someone…

That's what I'm thinking. If they released him from his scholarship I have a feeling they would have mentioned it. That and the fact that he was suspended instead of being kicked off the team makes me think that he'll be on the field next year.