I'm disappointed that she didn't have the doctors transform her into a bionic woman during her surgery.

I don't think she's using her children to be famous. She's already famous. I think both she and her husband are obsessed with making sure their children are also famous. As for why I and many others feel this way, the children's careers, and the Smiths' management of those careers is your answer.

I have a hard time imagining him actively consenting to looking like this much of a raging asshole. It seems more like he can't prevent these behaviors from bleeding through. (Which is scary, because in that case, imagine how bad he is when cameras aren't rolling and he doesn't feel the need to even try to look good.)

Yeah, the whole pimping her children out for fame at incredibly young ages thing is a pretty significant barrier to entry in Club Awesome Mom.

Agreed. They make my skin crawl. I feel that the core of these rants of hers that Jezebel so eagerly praises is her desire to make her children as famous and successful as possible in the entertainment industry. She would rather decry the existence of the negative consequences of fame than actually prevent her…

Thank god this comment section isn't oozing adoration for Jada Pinkett Smith, whose major goal in life appears to be pimping her children out to the entertainment industry. Fuck the Smiths' dynasty-building. It's unbelievably creepy and distasteful.

Good. It was a silly, arbitrary, and misguided attempt to fix a complex problem. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go sit in a bathtub full of rootbeer.

Good for you! That makes me feel less bad for buying every season of Charm School, Real Chance of Love, and I Love Money. But I gotta say, the Flavor of Love girls beat the Rock of Love girls hands-down.

That's awful! For so many reasons, that's awful. The idea that someone has to be forced into a sham marriage to ensure the well-being of their loved ones is sickening.

Guys, you don't understand! We have to protect the sanctity of health insurance! We all know that health insurance is a sacred and time-honored union between straight people and greedy, sociopathic corporations.

"You can't care about this bad thing, because there are other bad things" is a lazy, simplistic argument.

Yeah, sorry, I disagree. Physically watching slave labor building structures for you involves a significantly greater degree of culpability. Nice generalization, but it really doesn't hold up.

Ooh, what an awesome analysis of that scene! I hadn't thought of that, but what a smart observation! Now I want to go back and watch that episode again.

Wow. So you know plenty of incredibly pathetic dudes, is what you're saying?

I do this just about round-the-clock with my pets. Thank god that my husband thinks it's cute, because I don't stop, can't stop, won't stop. I'm also fond of singing Prince's "1999" at them when I take the dogs outside to "potty like it's 1999."

But... but... ne1butu is attracted to people with similarly shaped naughty bits! That's an automatic get-out-of-ignorance-free card, isn't it? You don't understand!

No, it's because it implies you're a big boozy slut whose alcohol tolerance is perhaps high enough to prevent your date from easily and cheaply getting you drunk enough to take advantage of you.

Wow. I didn't realize I was being condescending. I thought I was politely engaging you. Either way, I'm sorry. I did update what I wrote to clarify that I didn't intend to chastise you, and that I thought it would be fun to talk about it at Groupthink. Hopefully you just didn't see that part yet when you…

eHarmony is absofuckinglutely a shady conservative organization.

I completely agree with you that this is a non-sequitur. I also completely disagree with some of your descriptions of the female characters on Breaking Bad.