She named her son Reign. So it’s royal but what’s above royalty? Sainthood and yeezus

I haven’t kept up with the Kardashians so I’m a little lost... why would Kourtney be mad?

ALL HAIL OUR NEW BABY OVERLORD.

Weeeelll, technically I wouldn’t call modern hygiene a triumph for humanity so much as a triumph for the cosmetic industry throughout history. Our hair and skin are so much happier when we don’t fuck with them... That said, no, these people should not be so clean (see: Hell on Wheels...)

Oh frig off. Haven’t you ever lived in an old house? Fuck mice, and rats too.

*Throws a bucket of spoons*

Oh hi doggie.

Your phoneticals are *tearing me apart* Mindy! :)

/casually tosses you a football

You’re spelling it wrong. It’s more like “Oh, hai Mark.”

I hope we get to witness the return of this gem:

She was also excellent in United States of Tara and other roles. She’s just getting attention now.

If checking his grades is something that is important to you I suggest you have him show you his transcripts at the end of the semester.

My family kind of all went their own way after my parents divorce and we all moved away from each other. Last year I spent Christmas alone and I really can't overstate how fucking amazing it was. I got gifts and all that but I opened before or after Christmas. I woke up and I made monkey bread, took the dog for a…

So took two pregnancy test today and I’m up the duff! It’s our first and we are chuffed, especially because we have had a tough time trying to conceive. Just so excited, had to share with someone (all of you!)

Oregon, Washington, California, Minnesota, New York, Ohio, Illinois, Maryland, and Pennsylvania.

47 people, Chipotle serves about a million a day, plus locations are all over the map.

I have heard from every Hollywood person I know (re: lowly interns, the people getting coffee for other people’s assistants) that she is extremely polite, kind, and punctual.

Welcome to the Klub! You’re in good company here, at least in some sections of the commenters, because we consider Kim K to be a lovely woman and a veritable genius who plays the reality TV/celebrity game like a fucking champ. She always knows exactly what she’s doing and you gotta give a bitch props for all that.

It wasn’t weird so much as amazing and I wanted to share, but I dreamed that Peter Dinklage and I were each other’s bit of stuff on the side. We were so bonkers into each other and we had interesting, amazing sex. (For reference, I’m 6 feet tall.)

My dream was with me getting shtupped senseless by Tom Hiddleston, and even though he was whispering this incredibly filthy things in my ear and doing things that I never even let my long-term ex do to me, he was always incredibly polite.