I kept licking and biting my lips and then reminding myself not to because I really didn’t feel like putting down the article to get up and get my Burt’s.

I’m having a stupid numb depressed day, and this made me laugh out loud. You win and I would like to give you all the internet points.

I walked out of Zoolander at the massage scene in high school. I was decently prudish compared to current-me, but really I found the entire movie (to that point) unbearably stupid. Plus, I had a three-years-younger friend with me, and while she was probably already getting laid, it was awkward watching it with someone…

I hate that movie so much. It's the only movie my dad ever rented at the dollar movie place and turned off half way through. It's still a family joke.

I’d be really concerned for the youths if “WEST SAC!!! became a thing.

Thank you! I lived and worked in Yolo for a year (actually, doing official county history work) and was so confused when everyone started saying YOLO the year after I left. What’s next, Putah or Cache Creek are the latest buzzwords people don’t know are names?

Oh, that’s her? I love that character and wish I’d been like her in high school. I just started rewatching USoT again yo help me with a little bout of depression and I’m falling in love with everyone all over again. Plus, it’s a great way to get my Patton Oswalt fix.

Fuck that attitude. I was systematically abused/tortured for a year as a toddler by two teenaged male cousins who were left to babysit us. I’d be more cautious leaving my kid with family members I don’t know well than other parents I knew.

I’ve just started using wen. I have below the shoulder curly/mid back straight, and I use 2-3 pumps to wash my scalp and the same amount or a little more on my length. I do the mask 2x a week but only maybe a quarter sized amount, just on the length and I leave it on overnight. I don’t get the absurd curl I did going…

I'm in the same place, myself. I lost my dear puppy cat in April of 2013 and still share her pictures everywhere. Fluffy butts never really leave us. Seriously, I still find her hair when I clean the baseboards behind cabinets.

You should shop vac up hair trimmings and then “accidentally” throw it in reverse near them. It’ll eliminate the creepy hovering and up to two (2) restraining orders.

I triple check when it’s just a matter of sterile saline vs. allergy drops vs. rewetting drops. I can’t imagine the horror she must have felt when the burning started.

Of the two places I'm looking at sending my future kids, both Catholic, one is 25-50% white any given year, and the other one (my HS) is usually 20% or less white. It really depends on the cost of the school and racial breakdown for the socioeconomic groups most likely to use the school, I think.

Bite me, Erica. 1) I was twenty three, not a teenager, and 2) your self-righteous bitch snort cut me off before I could finish the question, “Does the chocolate chip ice cream have actual chocolate chips, like full sized ones, or mini chips, or is it tiny pieces of chocolate formed by mixing chocolate and oil and…

How wonderful for him, and what a great attitude toward the assholes. I hope he enjoys what the doctors give him!

OH, god, I know the “thank god no one else is here right now” feeling so well. I lived with my best friend and two other women (one awesome, one a bitch from hell) my last year of college, and oh my god, even seeing my best friend was way too hard 95% of the time. I don’t know if it’s because I’m an only child, but I…

She could have just have a great skin day and an expertly applied tan. That’s what I thought looking at it. I have unusually dark lashes and eyebrows, so I look like I’m wearing mascara and eye liner and brow pencil most of the time. I’m terribly pale with rosacea, though, so it just looks stark on me.

Well, yes, never pick up a wild animal, period. But unless the west coast has vaccinated their coyotes, raccoons, foxes, feral cats and other mammals, bats aren’t the only vector. It’s true that in the last fifteen years, the majority of the 20-ish rabies cases in the US have come from bats, but I wonder if that might…

I’m generally ok with bugs, but I hate car spiders. When I was a few weeks away from college graduation, my then-boyfriend and I drove down to my uncle Joe’s house where he was holding the family garage sale. We picked up some great stuff, including a 1930s typewriter my uncle’d found up in the loft of the pony barn.…

Friendly buggahs.