Shower bugs are the worst. Our house centipedes love our bathroom and hang out in and around the tub. Once, when my partner was in the shower, I heard a very manly yelp (well...) and then a crash from downstairs. I ran downstairs and threw open the door to find him soaking wet, half shaved, and fully naked, hopping…

Gaaaaah! The worst I've had to do was sit on ice packs for a few hours. I hope he was at least nice about it.

Ugh, I’m terrified my kids are going to grow up on the mainland. My partner loves the Big Island, though. His mom always asks, “You won’t make him move to Hawaii though, right? He’s be so are from his family.” All I can do is stare blankly and think, I’ve been 5000 miles from my mom since I was eighteen and go years…

I used to go hiking at Sacred Falls with my dad and he’d always break off cane to chew at the end of one of the trails. Freaks my partner the fuck out when he comes home with me and I grab random shit off bushes and the ground and tell him to eat it.

They way you get all the good stuff: buy um up when you go home and bring it back. I used to refuse to check a bag but then I realized shipping on the stuff I liked cost more than 50, so now I take one big bag partially empty with a small insulated bag inside and fill it up for the flight home. Frozen poi makes a good…

They were all over my preschool. I'm old enough that I was alive when sugar cane was still a decent sized industry on the North Shore and those fuckers were everywhere. And they still couldn't understand why I refused to sleep during nap time. :P

Unrelated, but I love your username. Is it a reference to something or are you just that cool?

I was going to tell a story but thought it was too tame. I was at a friends’ house in Kahuku because our parents were all friends and decided to just get one babysitter for the three of us. The Suns gone down and we decide to watch tv. My friend said, just keep your head below the level of the couch back. Being six…

Yay, more local girls! I’m home sick, too, but I’m making kalua pork and poi tomorrow to make me forget it's getting cold.

Hawaii girl here. Fuck centipedes. And cane spiders.

I'm much better with spiders than I used to be, but every time I've been outside and then feel the sensation of something crawling through my hair, I flip out. I have mounds of fluffy curly hair and grew up with crab spiders. That's a big ole NOPE!

My family’s house now has tiny fire ants. I’ve been stung so many times on my butt and bits, it's now just funny and slightly tedious.

I love this story and you for telling it.

Before I begin, let me explain that centipedes in the tropics bear no relationship in size, disposition, or tenacity to house centipedes: they can easily reach a foot in length, bite sleeping people (both my mom and my hanai mom have woken from dreams of getting an IV put into their crelbows to find centipedes…

If you’ll accept an unrepentant sink-pee-er into your digital heart, we can be pretend friends forever (PFFs).

I seriously just went through two months of your posts to see if you’re my friend (you aren’t). In my defense, he had IBS and would occupy the only bathroom for two to six hours at a time, and I have diabetes insipidous, aka, I need to pee a whole lot. But, I didn’t pee on dishes, and I rinsed the sink after each use…

That sounds fun! The few times women showed up in suits for dances they got lots of shit or were refused entry. Yay, Catholic school. :(

I was head of the prom committee my junior year. I set up the room, checked in the caterers and photographers, confirmed the guest list, then went home, had a glass of wine, and spent the night reading a book with my cat. Senior year, I had a hot boyfriend, so we just hung out and had a bunch of…

Me too! And then I thought, she should be careful with the leaning because she might fall in and then she’d have to get kefir out of her hair. And then I thought, well, yogurt is really good for skin so maybe kefir is ok for hair. And then I wondered if it was that nasty maple-tainted kefir my partner once bought and…

If they do I need it and if they don't they need to because I need it.