I swear, we live in a cardboard box museum. :P It’s fun to feel like I’m robbing the cradle with my student-husband (three years my senior), but college is really good at getting in the way of him not having an excuse to avoid the things I asked him to do. Luckily for him he's a hard worker so it's easy to cut him…

Um. Thanks

This is the best picture ever taken in the history of pictures

My friend and her husband and her dog are visiting this weekend and staying with me and I need to clean the house and I really don’t want to. I’ve been fucntionally depressed for five months or so, and while this is so incredibly much better than being curled up in bed and praying for death, it’s so daunting that I…

I thought it was hilarious. People have a real bug up their asses about this, but you’re still quite droll. Until Ladyology, I’d just assumed a bunch of bored children had wandered over from elsewhere in the Gawker-verse to stamp their feet and piss in your sandbox.

Re: hobo spiders

“I do not believe mothers and daughters should be separated.”

This!!!! Why is this a thing? Is this a secret plot by porn directors to help all of us women know a guy is a complete waste of time within the first fifteen seconds of sex? Because that would be awesome, and it’s an incredibly reliable metric. It’s a guarantee that he’ll spend way too much time slamming into you like…

For some reason, people want their dead spouse’s feet rubbed but don’t want to do it. I was also asked to, ahem, remove something from under someone in a casket. Honestly, if you have enough family and friends die in a short enough time span, dead bodies are like other people’s couches: normal enough, but strange…

That look screams “Diaper change.”

There are six sons from two moms, who all look like him, so I doubt paternity was the issue. Really it just seemed like the desire to keep the most elemental part of him with them. He was the most wonderful, kind person to ever live, so at the time it made perfect sense. In retrospect, it’s in the top three of weird…

OH WAIT BETTER ONE! My partner’s dad died quite unexpectedly and his family wanted Dad’s DNA for some reason, idk, and so as the least squeamish, I was tasked with it. His mom palmed me some tweezers and I sidled up to his body after the service/wake, kissed him on the temple, and pulled a few hairs+root bulbs with…

Most bizarre? Finding out at my shitheel grandfather’s funeral that my camo-loving, Bambi hunting, proud Marine cousin was 10o% pro-gay marriage and loved sushi, karaoke, and gay bars. He’s always been a really wonderful person, but until my grndfather’s funeral, I didn’t know there was another foaming-at-the-mouth…

I just finished it today and I want to live in that room. My partner keeps walking into the room just to look at it.

You’re kidding me! I have the same problem! Our couch is teal, our favorite sheets are teal, and my phone case is teal, so if I put it down on the bed or couch, it’s suddenly invisible. We nearly decided against the wall color because we have so. Much. Teal. It’s just too gorgeous, though. It's Benjamin Moore Teal.

I love it! The floor in that picture is a couple shades lighter than our walls. Manford has taken to calling it the Emerald Shitty. It's like being under water.

I'll be fine. I have a TEAL fucking bathroom and a Michael Pollan audiobook so life is good, on the balance. Besides, you've effectively collected all the best puppy gifs, which is basically the best digital companion Valium could hope for. But seriously, teal. Fucking. Bathroom.

“Fuck the Gawker bros” is the only thing my brain can string together right now, because most of it is taken up with seemingly utterly rational terror that I once again have or will soon have a gun shoved into my face by an irate stranger. Can’t even begin to judge whether the “you have to look at the effects of gun…

No new shoes or puppy gifs, but I’m painting my bathroom insanely teal and it’s luscious. Is anyone anywhere on Jez discussing Sam Biddle’s article on the front page images of yesterday’s shooting? I’d look for an alternate discussion but (yay, PTSD) it’s becoming a fucking PITA clicking back and forth while covering…

That’s amazing. I love your mom. I don’t know why (maybe it’s growing up Catholic in a predominantly Mormon community?) but stories about religious leaders who have families *and* senses of humor are fascinating and heartwarming to me.