I would hope that there's at least a cameo appearance by a fat white nerd in 2000s-era clothing who's doing his best to kill Lucas with a shovel.

It's the Zombieland crossover we were all secretly hoping for, and not just because Tallahassee would sort this out in ten minutes.

the revolution will not be "soft" vore

On the plus side, she's a grass-fed vegan, so when the rich get eaten, she'll likely get top marks.

Thirty-seven?!

Don't be a jackass in the comments on somebody's memorial, man. Try to remember what "class" is, and show some.

I really loved "Strange Luck." The episode that ended with a dude dead in the rain as Live's "Lightning Crashes" plays has stuck with me for years now.

The simple pleasures of throwing a character off a cliff when I am frustrated is one more thing the Internet has ruined for me.

I'm not too comfortable with that as a silver lining. Once you start hoping your enemies die, it's a bleak, sad road.

Then start thinking about how we're going to rebuild afterward. Not showing up to fucking elections is what got us in this mess to begin with.

I'm not talking a couple of sleeping pills. I'm talking Hemingway levels of excess here. I want to wake up in Tangier several pounds heavier with tattoos I don't recognize.

It's something to work towards. The alternative is crawling into a tranquilized stupor and hoping the world makes slightly more sense when I wake up.

Here's what I'm hoping. Feel free to argue me down.

I do not feel as if any discussion of John McClane on the Internet is complete without at least a sidelong mention of one of the greatest bits of early Internet crossover insanity:

Hillary has testicles.

I am disappointed in the lack of gooey spider cake as it is seriously the only recipe I wanted

mods, please change my Disqus name to "Sinister Meat Cabal"

[develops eyebrow twitch]

Exactly. He comes face-to-face with God and is gently but firmly told, "You know, I'm not that angry."

A better ending would've been for Chick to stay in heaven, personally invited to Jesus's Thursday-night D&D game, surrounded by a who's-who of people whose beliefs he'd specifically condemned.