It’s like each one of your legs is a weapon that is trying to destroy the other weapon.

Besides that, I usually wear shorts and since I shower/shave at night, I’m basically a cricket when I go to bed.

Yeah, but imagine sleeping in shorts and having the stubble rub against stubble. Yes it will go away but the cost is too great (for me)

Very true.

I know this wasn’t the point at all, but just because I’m stuck on a bus with nothing better to do than to comment:

Ok, for the first one, aan appropriately employed grumpy cat meme would have said “No.”

It’s a testament to how hungry I am that I read this and was like “I want a Hot dog”

Thank you for this thread and the joy it brings. Eeverybody’s been giving this song shit, but I love it and she is an angel who graces us

I love her

OH MY GAWWWWWD

The biggest cat I ever saw was just a fluffy motherfucker and was living with someone who was only JUST able to take care of him and who couldn’t even take care of himself. Once that kind of came to light, he was taken to a nursing home and that cat was adopted. They shaved him down a lot to see if his skin was all…

Well you have two kidneys so that if one gets injured, you have a spare. So giving on away would take away your backup. My grandpa donated his kidney to his sister and years later had some growths and they cut half of it off. So he lived a few years with a kidney and then the strain was too much (surprised it last…

This. This. This.

That’s almost why I would want to get into politics of this sort (I’m not, but it’s interesting to consider). I have anxiety issues and when I’m told to speak, I trip over my words, my voice shakes, and gets really high, but when someone gets sassy with me (especially when they’re wrong) it’s like I’m possessed by a…

Whatever Michael Buble did to Emily Blunt is a gift from God. Instead of having to date Michael Buble, she got John Krazinski.

Who the fuck still uses a flip phone, Adele.

In my dreams, she looks him straight in the eye, shoots him, and then calmly walkers (I'm making this a verb) over to the car and peals off the sticker.

Which could very well be JLaw from the future

Speaking of Taylor Swift’s eyebrows... I’m travelling and don’t have my sharpener and MY EYEBROW PENCIL BROKE THIS MORNING

Wait, I distinctly remember her saying that it was her choice. Or the director asked and it was her idea or something.