I am post graduation despair AND ITS FUCKING TERRIBLE. Literally trying not to puke right at this moment because I’m going to an interview and I don’t even want the job. I got here two hours early.

My dad says that he thinks she’s looking at the TelePrompTer right behind the camera but she’s also trying to focus super hard on the camera and it’s just like this intense but misdirected gaze. It’s disturbing.

They’re so bad! Have you seen the one wHere Ayotte is trying to refute the negative ads against her? It’s the worst, I’m like oh the daughter of lucifer wants to be a congresswoman.

I’m from Massachusetts so all of Hassan and Ayotte’s ads play round the clock and my god, she is terrible. Like, I feel like she’s looking into my soul during her most recent ad and she’s trying to figure out how to consume it. That’s all I really know about this election.

My dad, King of great decisions, cut off part of his finger when he was a kid. In a lawn mower. His friend was pushing it while he dropped grass in it so they could see it shred or something and he got too close. He now has a stumpy finger and it’s so stupid looking. He somehow still has a little tiny fingernail on…

Ok yes but Christina Aguilera is also a huge bitch who is rude to other celebrities and I’ve heard numerous accounts of her shitiness and from what I’ve heard, in this singular feud, I am team Kelly. But maybe there was info I missed?

My dad still talks about the time he wrote a fifty page final in four hours. He skipped several random pages while numbering them. His professor raved about it.

Kara, legitimate question: could Hillary quoting Michelle Obama’s DNC speech be shady? Considering Melania? Because it murdered me but I’m not sure it was intentional. Would it have been better if she quoted the 2008 speech that Melania plagiarised?

If you could see my face right now, it would be the picture of remembering they’re different people.

I read this part out loud to my 56 year old dad.

My friend was posting about how all her recent ads were just clips of him speaking

Portugal is a really lovely place and I very much recommend it and I am not religious and not even catholic but it was beautiful. We burned a candle for my grandmother and got her some Fatima Holy Water and she’s gonna freaaaaaaak (she is actually Catholic).

If angelina wants to go to Syria, good for her. But honestly, bringing kids seems more like a lesson for her children than it would be a benefit to Syrians. They would just be another person in danger, another distraction to her from protecting herself and from doing good. It feels like a “look how good you have it,…

I just went to Fatima and I’ve seen some real dramatic religious shit. Ted, the Virgin Mary has bigger fucking issues than you’re wounded ego.

This election is turning my dad - hardened but not bigoted conservative - into a liberal because he can finally see how racist etc everyone is. He thought this was fucking hilarious, thank you.

Me, scrolling through Jezebel: hmm... hmmm..... Oh Marc jaco.... Omg... HE DID NOT FUCKING SAY THAT

Omg I have two friends who I’m considering making co-maids of honor and both of them would be encouraging me to sell out.

This. Especially because as far as I’m concerned, so few people understand what that “song” is about. Like I didn’t know what it was for years. So he might have just been making a reference without full information. A couple weeks ago, a delivery guy at my work made an explicit rape joke that was just belittling rape,…

I liked hotel, I think it far more cohesive than the last few years. It was like asylum except kind of stupid. Asylum was by far the best. But yeah definitely skip freak show.

You could have really had a home run here if you wrote “intensive purposes” just to be annoying. I'm here for it.