I was at the Pete show last night and I’m surprised Jez chooses to focus on the fact he talked about Ariana and not about the fact that he basically shit all over Louis CK.

This is why people need to actually listen to or read the lyrics to a song before getting fauxraged about them on the internet. If you had come that, you’d already know she says nothing disrespectful about him in the song. She also did him and all of the exes the courtesy of previewing ‘Thank U Next’ beforehand to…

It lost me when they killed off Maya Rudolph too. I was really stoked to see her actually have a chance to enjoy Fred Armisen being dead as much as I imagine I would.

Please tell me you started dating the doorman after that.

He said he was concerned his passport would get stolen, which still makes no sense.

This gift wasn’t given to me personally but it was still pretty awful from my perspective:

Yeah, when people say they don’t see race, what they REALLY mean is they don’t see racism.

“It wasn’t our intent” is essentially a “sorry you’re offended.”

This made me take a sharp breath because it so perfectly encapsulates toxic workplaces. 

In the tapes the CBS lawyers showed, they thought that Eliza cursing on set was all the proof they needed to show that SHE was the problem. The video contained cut and dry examples of sexual harassment happening in real time, and it didn’t even register to them that they were shooting themselves in the foot. But a…

I’m glad to see she gave her the benefit of the doubt, because I’ve referred to kids (including my own) as little monkeys (regardless of color), but the teacher fucked up when she didn’t immediately realize her mistake and apologize.

A religious belief is not eating pork or not working on Saturday. This is treating people like shit and then blaming god when you get caught.

1. That’s not how “tolerance” works, you idiot.

But, ugh, the thought of warm yogurt is a massive turnoff.

There was a place near where I grew up that served deep fried rye bites with a side of spreadable cheddar. I generally dislike rye, but this stuff was delicious.

As everyone is surely aware, fried bread is better than toast. If you’re going to cover your toast completely anyhow just fry it in butter. Then you get both sides and just a better thing all around.

Well THAT needs to change. Anybody who works with youth should be a mandated reporter, period.

Anyone who thinks a performer should actually be singing when standing outside in freezing weather riding a float with a hamburger clown is an idiot.

I’m no fan of Rita Ora, but this is dumb. People have lip-synced forever in parades and unless you live in a cave, you should know this.

Make mashed potatoes, and when they’re all done, just melt in Velveeta chunks until the taters are a light orange. That’s the stuff.