Mets win the offseason!!!

Maybe if they explored this "danger of sharp tools" idea they wouldn't be having these problems.

If it's written on the back of a Get Out of Jail Free card, it's legit to me.

He can wear Mark Prior's old number!

Baby Andy Reid is missing a mustache.

@UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen: So I said to myself, "Self, go get some delicious Krispy Kreme donuts."

The other occasion, you guessed it, Frank Stallone's birthday.

His will be the only Heisman vote submitted on a discarded toilet paper roll.

Are they M Dashes or N?

@The Fan's Attic: This is crossposted on Fleshbot.

"I love 'em," Williamson said. "I even could tie my hands behind my back and - all right, we're going to just leave it at that."

@Von Hayes: I think his late sesaon performace (at the plate) speaks to that.

Well, that reasonable, well-crafted, and grammatically-correct explanation has put this controversy to rest.

Isn't that Daulerio's alma mater?

Good thing they have all those first-round draft pick receivers to help him better understand the system.

Nice to see Matt Geiger got out of the way this time.

@Civil Negligence: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...<<<!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@Civil Negligence: Longtime baseball executive William Giles will chair this independent, unbiased committee.

But can she cook a 30-minute meal?

To be fair, it happened in PG County. Maybe if this guy moved to Bethesda or something...