Really it’s the “being the drill sergeant” part that’s exhausting. I don’t want to have to always be deciding what needs to be done and delegating what needs to be done. Just ... do what needs to be done. That’s what life is.

Yes, they can be wonderful people and still do stupid annoying things! I’m sure my husband goes on Reddit or something and mocks my annoying habit of angrily insisting I’m “not even asleep!” whenever he tells me I’m snoring.

This really gets me, because I wasn’t raised that way either. My mother does the absolute bare minimum house cleaning necessary to get by. So that’s was I was brought up with. It means that I have had to teach myself, through various methods, what is necessary to keep a house clean, functional and orderly. I’m still…

I think that’s a key thing too: the fighting is exhausting. Like it’s literally less effort for me to just do the chores myself than it is to patiently and kindly ask my husband to do them. And then explain how to do them. And stay calm and kind the whole time without flipping my lid and screaming that dammit you have…

No, thank you! You and your husband sound like very cool people. Best of luck!

“One thing I dislike is that fatherhood is often portrayed with an air of: “A man taking care of a child?! How kooky! I even changed a diaper! How unusual!” That sort of mentality cannot depart soon enough.”

the bit about men developing a culture of talking about this stuff is a really important point.

I am really happy for you and your husband to have such awesome family leave! I am assuming your little one has not been born yet, so good luck to you and I hope you have a wonderful, healthy baby very soon!

Men need to talk to each other about this stuff.

I need this book, but for communicating with in-laws. We had a great relationship until the baby was born, and now they’ve lost their freaking minds and NOTHING is expected of my (male) spouse. They flipped out about how (not) clean my house was, after i’d had a fucking AWFUL pregnancy that ended with a…

Here’s the issue my husband believes (like literally believes) we are at 50/50 when in reality it’s more like 90/10 and it blows my mind. What was even more revealing is I tried to create a chore chart/list to create a more equal workload but so many items I was like “he won’t do that right” or “this looks like he’s…

I assume a kid doing the chores is going to be like delegating a job to my coworkers: providing them with copious instructions, answering questions along the way, and then having to redo most of it myself after they finish.

What were the consequences if you didn’t? That’s the part you may not remember, but which is part of every solid parenting strategy. It may not be something you consider a “trick,” but getting a 6-year-old to remember to do something every single day without being reminded constantly or screwing up constantly…

“The difference today is that men are now more frequently socialized to pay lip-service to household equality. Our culture rewards them for sharing housework and childcare. Yet still we have to ask nicely even when we’ve already asked twice, we have to be strategic in the way we frame our requests so as not to spook…

This is so common, though. Partners thinking that because they do “X” they don’t need to do “Y”.

When I was a teenager, I got it in my head that I would have either a baby or a husband, but not both because that would be too much work.

This will compel every Republican (and several Democrats) in the Senate to vote FOR him, lest their base think they are giving an inch on “life”.

No one asked her to go on the campaign trail or even to expressly come out for Hillary. She could have just said or done something to indicate where she stood on issues of sexual assault, choice, and sexism in general. That’s an extremely low bar, and yet she failed to clear it.

I don’t think celebrities are necessarily obligated to voice political concerns, but when TS uses feminism as marketing, I think she somewhat opens herself up to this kind of criticism.

Disingenuous. Exactly the word. And now she is almost insulting viewers by acting like it’s our fault that we got pulled in by her trying to pull us in.