Most people I know would be thrilled to get a letter from the President elect.

Maybe it will be good for Penn State to get a sense of how it feels to have its case ignored.

Cool chart bro.

This is the most Seahawks’ fan comment ever. Make it clear your fanbase is superior to others while also making sure to mention how long-standing your fandom is to differentiate yourself from the rest of your newly minted fans. I’ve read numerous accounts of terrible Seahawk fan behavior. Fuck off.

If the Trumps were a fictional family/set of characters in a book or movie or show, you’d call them one-dimensional and boring because of how predictable and trope-y they are. But no, they’re real. These people actually exist. They’re like walking cartoon villains. I’ve seen anime bad guys with more depth than this…

I’m a Seahawks fan and the only thing I really disagree with is that Portland is a better town. Portland is basically Tacoma and they can fuck off.

As someone who is dying (Ok, not really, but I have really bad hangover and feel like dying), please grant me my last wish - Please post an article for every Seahawk loss this season the way you do the St. Louis Cardinals?

God, you’re the worst. No one gives a shit.

*Slow claps*

Welcome to Deadspin Jordan. Just a word to the wise, careful writing negative articles about the Seahawks. Their football illiterate fan base has a tendency to sue or start change.gov petitions in response criticism or rational negative thoughts about their defense.

Don’t be that guy. Shut up and watch the preseason game.

I agree. When the pants are this tight, you can easily see whether or not they're carrying a copy of the Unwritten Rules in their pocket or not. Makes it easier to figure out who to bean.

I can sometimes be a bit of a wet blanket (appropriate for this conversation, I guess), so I just want to clarify: these two people are really, really, sad, right? These are adults posting about their sex life online...would normal, non-wet blanket people consider this as pathetic as I do?

Spoiler alert: it’s not.

The real fucking won’t start until she files for divorce.

I've never been more convinced of their beardiness.

*immediately googles “how do I fuck? 🤔”*

Couldn’t happen to a nicer beard....