THAT’S SO SILLY WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK THAT

*shifty eyes*

I am not a “weedhead” technically.... I am in semi-retirement because I have a job and kids and too much shit to do.... BUT I do partake when kids go to grandma’s and when they all move out and I retire from work I plan on reverting back to my bong-ripping youth. I will be a bong-ripping grandma.

In a similar but unrelated note, I now bump into men who walk right into my path instead of moving to the side as we pass on narrow sidewalks.

I was more thinking he was a cross between Chris Christie and Pizza the Hutt.

“Squeeze a GoGurt up in there” ahahahahhaha

Ka$h

LET’S NAME THE NEXT KARDASHIAN!

I had this teacher who everyone loved in high school (I didn’t because when I told him another student was sexually harassing me he laughed it off and fist bumped the guy). Anyway, he was everyone’s favourite - turns out he was sleeping with a bunch of 13/14 year olds.

Oh I do buy “high-end” stuff, but it tends to be local designers, or made in Canada or the US or Europe, and not big name, market designer brands. I do good quality, it’s definitely worth the extra money. But as I said elsewhere, name recognition does not necessarily equate with good quality.

I’m not a huge spender and I wear fake diamond earrings but bags are my thing and I have a collection of designers bags (Celine, Prada, Chloe, Balenciaga Etc...). It’s not ridiculous and wasteful, it’s my personal splurge and something I love to treat myself too. But I would never ever spend $350 on a belt. In my…

I love her and I will not make fun of her tweets for a full year.

Other cartoons you would bang... GO!!

Oo-de-lally, golly what a day...

Result: Confused Bernie Sanders

Anything is possible as well when you unlock your unlimited douche potential and you either didn’t get enough or got too many hugs from your parents.

We don’t want eating carcinogen free food, for example, to be a luxury. It’s insane, and it should be the same with beauty.

I chose Inkwell. It sounds like a fancy filter name for blackface.

This picture of Harry always makes me inclined to believe that he really is Charles’ son and not a love child of Diana and that other dude. He just looks so much like Charles here. Particularly in the nose.

So the cheerleaders, who are also professional athletes, are supposed to make ends meet via ... what, exactly? Fucking the team and hopefully getting a few bills shoved their way in return? How nice and open-minded of these conservative fucksticks to show their support for prostitution.

Of course it’s in Fitzroy... This is peak Melbourne. It couldn’t get more Melbourne if it tried.