i love hanging out with my white friends

TOUCHE.

Emma Stone.

TOTALLY COUSINS

a cunt who puts cheeseburgers in her vagina

Blair Waldorf singing “Lovefool” while pregnant with Seth Cohen’s baby.
Someone obviously got their hands on my fanfic...

Ah, the city of Churches and open legs.

Well please do pass on our regards.

Is that Sluuuuuutsy McSlut Whorebag of The Syndney Whorebags or the Perth Whorebags? I think Mr.R and I may have played contact bridge with her and Mr W. Or perhaps we met them at the regatta?

I’m guessing the therapist was like the therapist from Sex House.

My ex, who was a total psycho (you know, stalking and restraining orders - THAT kind of ex) didn’t directly freak out AT me, but he has this way of nonchalantly having some parallel thing in common with me that he tells anyone who knows us both about. I haven’t had contact with him, but for instance:

I don’t think my ex has any idea I remarried, but I did once have this terrible vivid dream he died in a car accident. I called him at his last known number the next day to make sure he was okay. It was *disconnected.* Granted, this was when people were ditching the land line to use only their cell, but his cell was…

I wouldn’t know because my ex is blocked on fb and from my life. He tried to ruin my career in the midst of our divorce (sent graphic naked pictures of me to all of my bosses and made false allegations about drugs and prostitution) and therefore is not allowed to have any personal information about me. I don’t even…

This was definitely a headline that gave me a major doubletake for a few seconds. Then I said “awwww” and all was right with the world.

Yeah but I feel much more empowered in my thong. Panty lines are so disempowering.

Some of these are not like the others....

Well, I’d say it’s at least dishonorable to sleep with somebody else while in a relationship, lie about it, and then try to get child support for one of them from the wrong person, but what do I know? I’m not sure this fits as slut shaming.

I know it’s trendy to hate on Anne Hathaway, but 1) I don’t get the hate and 2) I FUCKING LOVE THIS LOOK. She is slaying.

My uncle was extraordinarily wealthy. Every day he donned Dickies work pants and went to have coffee with the geezers at the local coffee shop in the small New England town he spent summers in. (Winters in Florida) To look at him, you’d never have known. My aunt wore classic casual clothing - kinda Talbotsy. No…

I haven’t done this in awhile, but now seems as good a time as ever to do the Lord’s work. A few of my all-time favorite Gwyneth quotes: