Wait, is it bad etiquette to ask the waiter to help you choose between two things? Because I am really indecisive and do that all the time. If it's bad form I'll stop.

Period sex is awesome. Maximum lubrication. We have a 1970s era beach towel designated for the act (actually, also for when I dye my hair; efficiency!!).

Jesus H. Keh-rist. Can my fellow countryman stop embarrassing us for one goddamn second!! We have the Prime minister for that.

Well, I would blow all of my money partying with my (two) sisters and our closest friends all over the world. I would not demand that everybody look at me while I do it.* But the dressing up fancy and going to cool places looks fun and glamorous, definitely. I guess people mostly feel that all of this is wasted on…

I really like this for a lot of reasons. It's very much like the moment a photojournalist would work his or her whole life to capture. The people in the background plus his overjoyed expression, the fact that he was doing it to let his wife know he was OK—tt's all just so overwhelming and emotional.

I love this dress! I want to graduate, get married, start my career, buy a home, get a promotion, make some babies, vacation, retire, and die in this dress.

Period shits are roughly the same level of health problem as hangover shits.

Does this help?

Wait, if women need to have kids young in order to enjoy their grandkids, doesn't that mean men should have kids even younger? After all, they are likely to die sooner and have less grandchildren- enjoying years. Where are the hysterical articles aimed at college guys telling them to have babies by 25??

I don't remember the section in the constitution giving her the power to put together an armed force and invade a foreign country. Maybe I skipped that day in school. Or maybe she's the first lady and she doesn't actually have any power but has a metric shit ton of influence, which she is using. That's what it looks…

Obligatory! ETA: totally irrelevant, but I love it.

Whatever, that's not that much weed. I could find you a pair of babies in Colombia that weighs more than that!

It's now more than three weeks since I've heard from my boyfriend of eleven months. I'm going to send him this. But I'll probably add a little profanity.

I told one student in particular that one day she would be a poor college student and look back at how much money she spent on prom and realize exactly how stupid she was. That money being spent on prom? She'll want it when she's in college and eating ramen.

The muppet working her mouth is trying to escape. That's the hatch opening up.

This idea that there are people out there with (a) the capability to and (b) the desire to "annihilate America" is ridiculous. The only nation that has the capability to annihilate anyone (a couple thousand times over) is the USA. This whole paranoia of people willing to "do anything" to "destroy America!" because…

Yeah, but the gravity is totally different in Australia. This isn't all that impressive.

can we talk about the bodies of 18 y/o dancers for a moment? And how I want to pour bbq sauce on them.

So then an ally is supposed to accept things they don't believe? THAT is bullshit. You can't support or be in favor of or be against something you don't think is real.