My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…

Some perspective on how historic this is:

Nah.

“Sorry if that line was a bit rough everyone. I guess you could say I’m a bit Russ-ty!”

“I wouldn’t say I’m unattractive folks, but given that I’ve had two birds in my hand, there’s no way I’m getting one in the bush!”

To be fair, the 76ers aren’t used to seeing anyone on their court that actually matters.

(I walk on stage at a press conference after another long day at the office)

But seriously - if you have an opportunity to insult a decorated war veteran you have to take it, right?

Found it

I’m not sure if anyone heard about this other fun fact. But the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in last year’s NBA Finals. (The Finals is the championship series in professional basketball.)

I wish I had this feature for subtlety telling my wife that she doesn’t fit into that dress anymore.

I’ve accepted that the Cubs will probably win a World Series in the next couple of years, but please, just once more can I see the light fade from a smiling Cubs fan’s eyes. Just so I can feel normal again.

I assume that an average round of golf for Donald Trump goes like this.

Bills fans don’t take a day off

I feel like this article is a thinly veiled slam on cream soda and I, for one, am offended!

April of this year—the beginning of the baseball season—Indians owner Paul Dolan said the team would move away from using the demeaning depiction of a supposed Native American, instead making the block-letter “C” the team’s primary logo.

I think we can rule out Derrick as a suspect if you just review his shooting percentage

Ballpark seat man can fuck RIGHT off. There is nothing worse than getting to your seat in the third inning after hitting traffic and some fat homer is already parked in it spilling beer and peanut shells everywhere. Then they give you a dirty look like you’re inconveniencing him and make a big production out of…