Your expectations are too high. Blow out your candles.

That Colonel Sanders interpretation looks like Anna Kendrick doing KFC cosplay.

“Your goal: win the Colonel’s love, become his business partner, grab a few buckets of coleslaw, and see where the evening takes you.”

Speaking about headlines, this one hasn’t aged well:

These are the same parents who are in denial about their son’s 24/7 access to porn online. Frankly, getting the hots for a nice girl on the swim team is about the most wholesome thing they could do.

Love this comment. I was a sheltered girl who blossomed at 13 with NO IDEA that I looked different. I could not count how many times I heard comments from GROWN men and women that I knew exactly what I was doing, or that I was intentionally walking a certain way or any number of comments. It makes me sick. I would…

You guys need to keep digging. There's a whole location measurement industry out there, shitting their pants over these OS permission level changes. If you're only paying attention to Facebook, you're missing 90% of what's happening.

Me: *shows your comment to my boyfriend*
Him: “Or they could just wear briefs instead of boxers.”
Me: “Or they could just not stare at underage girls’ butts.”
Him: “I didn’t finish reading the sentence; I was stuck back on the part where somehow men still didn’t comprehend how their own underwear works.”

Quayle was better known for getting into a real world spat with Murphy Brown, a fictional sitcom character, about bearing children out of wedlock. This was promptly written into the show, making Quayle look especially foolish. The episode ended with Brown pulling one of her signature pranks, having a truck load of…

It’s “intergluteal cleft apertures.” in a situation like this, never curb your euphemisms.

you said but plugs.

She’ll never own Tay like Tay Zonday

I’m on Syndergaard’s side on this, but pitchers are high-strung lunatics. Not just MLB pitchers. Minor league pitchers. College pitchers. High school pitchers. Rec league softball pitchers.

Halfway through I was trying to figure out if this was real or some excellent satire. 

Pole dances are the best dances.

My browser is set to Depeche Mode.

Funnily enough it works with this:

beat me to it. so hilarious. I’m gonna get it on a t-shirt...

First - Terry, you realize that saying “sucks” is a reference to sucking dick right? I will not stand for that kind of language. Also, you claim to be familiar with Deadspin but the WYTS entry on the Patriots sent you over the edge? Go suck somewhere else.

https://www.sciencegeek.net/lingo.html  educational jargon generator. Have fun.