“I used to have trouble getting it up, because of E.D.*”

“I’m not on steroids, I’m just glad to see you.”

Do not however take any “Viagra” this guy offers you:

I was helping someone out with logging into the payroll system the other day and she said “Should I just tell you my password?”

.....but when I drink beer (so many..many beers) alone they call me “a drunk” or an “alcoholic”.

C. Gave him a mirror and told him that’s the work around.

I’m a fan of any ad that features classic reggae. Toots & the Maytals were awesome

As Maxwell Smart would say, the guy with the baseball cap “missed it by that much”.

If you want to go with this take, you don’t want to know how the US got its space program.

I think this dark and gritty reboot of Hamburger Helper is gonna do just fine.

It’s like Zima went off to college and now wants to be known by its middle name.

TIL that Burneko, for all of his virtues as a blogger, has shit taste in beverages.

You make some tequila sodas with those whiteclaws and tell Checkout-Guy this ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no foolin’ around before puking on his almighty conveyor belt

The 2002 reboot was shockingly good considering the source material

“He said, ‘The sheriff is NEAR!’”

Seriously, every team should have a young guy who could absorb 100 meaningless innings a season, then they get to get major league experience in low stress innings. Johan Santana before he set the world on fire had a year of long relief for the Twins. Imagine using those innings to develop your players rather than…

“These cupcakes make everyone feel like a winner! Even the Orioles!”

What we need is a mercy rule for yet another snoozer of a Yankees season. They’re making the playoffs for the 21st time in the last 25 years. Can we fast forward to the playoffs for them? Even then, they might face the Twins or the A’s, teams that haven’t touched the Yanks in October since the time when this blessed…

I can see it now... “The Little Jeep That Could”

I had no idea what you meant by that, but now thanks to the magic of Google...