But O.J.

I got a straw in my drink the other day and was just like, “fuck.. what about the kids, and the whales, and the buses, and the gasoline...”

Eh, I actually like him now. Sorry for intruding I’ll go back to Deadspin / Jalop.

Sad!

I just want to point out that J.T. Barrett led OSU all season until he broke his leg, giving Cardale the reigns for the playoff W’s and National Championship W. He’s pretty good.

“Oh, but of course he’s a hero down in Houston, a humid deathtrap of a city whose main tourist attraction is a house decorated in beer cans.”

There’s a thing called “THE BIG BUBBLE” here? What is going on? WTF?

Check your email Ian, holy cow.

Chase away all the good players! Bring in Robert Griffin the Third. Keep Gordon. Never trade Joe Thomas to a team that he deserves and can win a ring with.

This driver-less car is sweet!

I just saw this and lold pretty hard. Also, love the handle even though I’m a Browns fan.

I wish two drinks were always in me. I’d pretend I had the perfect day.

No, I disagree.

You guys are starting to make me like Peter Thiel.

hey buddy high five for you! hey-oh!

Just want to point out that the Buckeyes are not a “franchise”. Those boys do not get paid dawg! Although, they (select OSU football players) did blow a lot of large bills at the bar I used to work at. But the girls always were ordering the drinks so maybe it was their money? The world may never know.

No one deserves to win anymore. Since we’re all getting into soccer, let’s call it a draw, move to Canada, and ruin their country. There’s plenty of space sure, but no California or Florida to sun in. Their hockey teams suck, so we would all be on board with cheering for a shit hockey club. And the Expos! They may be…

Click bait? More like Chick Bait. Did you know that Barry had a trachea (yeah i looked up the spelling) sun tattoo? Lady killer, right there. Also the hot writers tho.

I wouldn’t let any of these men take my daughter / mother / female I know out for dinner. But only one of them’s a criminal. Jimmy Haslam FTW.

Just because Deadspin readers aren’t mouthbreathing homophobic morons doesn’t mean they won’t jump down your throat for saying something they don’t agree with 100%. I was pretty much thinking what you said before I got down here though. Let’s just focus on the Stanford scumbag and leave Boca Blondie alone.

I think the funniest part of this entire thing is that you think the Rundown (which Portnoy ALWAYS refers to as live even though it’s taped because he’s a goddamn idiot) being lost is suspicious. Are you writing about the same Barstool I know? You have bigger fish to fry man.