Update: Mildred’s QB rating is six points above Falk’s, she’s learning her checkdowns, and Adam Gase announced she starts against NE this Sunday.

Not John Elway, then? (I was shocked to learn Trevor Seimian has a job in the NFL. What — didn’t have a phone book to pick a random name from, Gase? Because that person would make a better QB.)

Yes, but. That’s sort of the baseline state of a NY Post headline writer. Jamming a finger up one nostril is also considered normal.

It was gonna hit God, but Yeezus stuck out his glove at the last second & interceded.

My partner’s brother owns a beach house on Hatteras. He isn’t rich by any means, but he was able to buy a storm-damaged cottage (!notice!) at discount using hoarded cash and a family loan. Even tho the house is 3 blocks in from the beach, the lower story has now been flooded three additional times, and we are waiting…

Flynn II.

You made Chuck Schumer cry!

:D That was part of the joke. Hollywood and all. Also newsreels: I’ve seen WW2 propaganda films that used (for example) stock footage of dogfights over Europe to illustrate the battle at Leyte and other such weirdnesses.

And seven inches deep, and fulla gators.

Bristol, Track, Willow, Piper

Lede photo triggered the automatic response: ‘Bass boat.’ It just came out!

“... it looked like she had stolen Kermit the Frog’s skin.”

They work on contract for Mandatory & only get paid $0.05 a post. Mash the buttons, check (without much hope) the mailbox.

Yeah ... like ... cones of uncertainty don’t get smaller along the time axis, Dondon. That’s why all your casinos failed.

I heard he’s a tight end:

Speaking of.... Here’s Fashy the Fashionista visiting Colombia yesterday & wearing ... some kind of paratroop-sleeved khaki number with wooly epaulettes?

*snurksnurksnurk* The track list from Oliver! reads like a Mandatory slack:

“It can’t be conspiracy. Dumb fuckers FaceTimed the whole thing live!”

“Cartons — how do they work?”

No, I mean the 85% of sailors who are white men, over 65, twice divorced and clueless why, wholly lacking in empathy or intellectual curiosity, and dragging Greta Thunberg on internet discussion boards. That 85%. I’ve been sailing off and on since age 9; my extended family owned several cottages in Upstate New York…