“I reluctantly voted for an unsavory candidate, and certainly did not embrace the most unsavory of his views. After this isolated personal experience, I have chosen to adopt all of his views, ESPECIALLY those unsavory ones.”

“NegNog” sounds like some kind of awful, old-timey racial slur.

Didn’t realize Deadspin was in the market for a Billy Haisley for Tottenham.

Followed instructions. Was not disappointed one bit.

You know that game made the life of the guy who can now say, “I blocked the shit out of LeBron in high school.”

The music track on that video is great.

Looks like those spooky LeBron cookies got to him.

The takes are so much dumber than usual that I think it must be staged, if only because he didn’t have time to prep something more coherent/noxious.

Shocking that the billionaire who hates the media sucks so much at his own press junket.

He was when I was at school within the last decade, so I’d say it’s a safe bet.

Cue “Whose Line is it Anyway” intro:

If they really wanted exploding heads, Breitbart should probably hire Randy Johnson.

Given the Swiss’s reputation, I’d be more surprised if there weren’t holes in their defense.

This sounds like the Cubs’ own version of most Red Sox fandom.

Both his eyes and the snowman’s eyes seem to be saying, “Please kill me.”

How is this a shutterstock image?

Ah. The puppet thing explains his sniffing - desperate attempts to avoid nose growth.

Personally, I’m really excited for the appearance of Trump’s-half brother.

Not sure if it’s my understanding of the quotes outside of the courtroom context, but it doesn’t seem like any of the respective clients on either side of the case are getting their money’s worth out of the legal teams.