I remember in 2002 I would watch the elephant livecam from the National Zoo in the middle of the night. If I was reallly lucky the baby elephant would be playing and watching him was way more important than doing whatever homework I was avoiding. (I also watched their naked mole rat livecam until my roommates decided…

I visualize kittens and puppies falling asleep. It helps sometimes. It’s also an excuse to watch videos of kittens and puppies during the day which is a nice bonus. 

There’s a careful calculus that goes on for this and I haven’t totally figured it out but it seems to involve: no one being seriously injured or having their life ruined, whatever is stolen doesn’t have a sentimental value, the act of stealing has to be cinematic in some way, a lot of time has to pass before being…

It would tickle a lot!

This is magnificent. Thank you. 

Ah the colloquialism strikes again! (and now I’m embarrassed that the whole internet knows I have a dirty mind.)

Could a native German speaker give us a ruling on “Leck mich im Arsch”? because I’m pretty darn sure the translation of “Kiss My Ass” is not only bowdlerized, but the intent of the singer is totally different. 

Okay but the picture of “Answer the Question” looks like the title screen of an indie horror movie. 

Yes! She’s great! I have known her for about 15 years - and she’s one of the reasons I’m still at that office after they’ve been sold a couple of times.

I once sat on the phone with a vet tech doing algebra to figure out how much chocolate my parent’s dachshund had eaten. (“Okay if the whole bar is 2.5 oz., and has 9 squares and she ate 2 squares...”) Thank goodness she hadn’t actually eaten any of it - she broke it off and hid it under a rug. 

I love your screen name!

Seriously. My puppy-cuddle instincts are going crazy right now. 

This is a great idea - using the proportions of margarita as a template for other drinks.

This is a nicely-done piece I just wanted to complain that just about every article about West Nile or any other mosquito-born illness always have those awful icky giant pictures of mosquitoes. There has to be a better stock photo!

Not just barefoot - barefoot while *sober* which is just mind boggling. I once had a cheap pair of shoes give out on me in Manhattan during a rainstorm (hole in the heel). I poured rubbing alcohol on my feet when I got to my friends apartment. I was still worried.

One of the baristas in the coffeeshop on my walk home was taking cosmetology classes and slowly over the course of a couple of months all the women working with her started having the exact same brows. One of them looked like Jessica Chastain, one of them looked like Octavia Spencer, one of them looked like Ericah…

This write-up is my go-to for when I cook mussels for my friends/family. I know Albert is happier writing about his proto-Walden and everything, but I really miss his take on cooking.

I need to stop reading the comments on this thread because I’m so hungry right now. 

I’m making the Colbert “gimme” hands just reading that. 

I’m now strangely grateful I wasn’t allowed to eat Fruity Pebbles as a child.