It was a pretty nice dick, tbh. But I like looking at penises.

But she didn’t say “puppy mill” she said “puppy farm” which could just be a delightful place where puppies are allowed to roam freely, looking adorable and maybe frolicking in a vegetable patch.

Puppy farm. That would also be bad.

So basically someone DIDN’T hurt anyone with a shoe bomb fourteen years ago and now we have to take off our shoes at the airport but literally tens of thousands of men, women, and children (including first graders in their school - a pile of bullet-riddled six-year-olds who still believed in Santa Claus) have been…

Secondary theory: One Direction does not exist, period, and is a thing you people made up to make me feel one thousand years old.

Can we send them bootstraps?

Every Leo Dicaprio poster I ever had was from Tiger Beat....memories.

What your response really should have been:

When I rule the world the punishment for snapping your fingers to summon a server shall be the loss of said digits. I can’t even read a description of someone doing that without a red haze descending across my vision.

I’m going to guess that is because it wasn’t made by Disney...

I’m not sure how Radcliffe could even be typecast. Where I could see Luke Perry getting locked into “brooding bad boy” roles, what is Radcliffe’s niche? Boy Wizard?

The nanny is younger but certainly not more attractive than Garner. And to be frank, given that Ahnold screwed his middle aged and not overly attractive on the surface housekeeper to the point of having a child with her I don’t think looks or age mean dick when a man has a case of wandering peen. And if one believes…

Camilla in particular seems to have some built-in radar for registering the existence of dogs to pet. I guess it’s an aristo thing?

This Who is Rita ora thing is getting really will never, ever get old.

There aren’t many good examples of pink eye shadow but this is the worst of the worst.

This had a notable lack of information on what Chris’s actual dick is like. I am disappoint. Poor journalism!

Okay for once I completely agree with Yoko and she actually made sense.
That is literally my life plan.

Wait- macarons and macaroons aren’t the same thing? But, wait. what? Are you sure...? But cookies

I know. I have a lot of questions too. Why do crocodiles and penguins basically walk the same even though one walks on four legs and one on two? Why are macarons and macaroons two different things? If evolution is real, why has my cat stayed the same the entire time I’ve had her? Why are bees dying and why are all…

fecal progesterone concentration