He doesn’t owe us an explanation.

welcome back

If it weren’t vegetarian, they wouldn’t call it “tossing salad”.

Gingerbread men/women/people are pretty much all gender neutral unless you’re making some anatomically correct cookies

Now parents will have to start admitting when children were conceived. No more 8 pound preemies born 8 months after the honeymoon.

Romaine is better for you in almost every nutritional category (it has almost 3 times the Vitamin A, for instance, though in many categories the difference is negligible), but I will accept butter lettuce as a substitute while romaine is dangerous.

more like Space Farce, amirite?

I’m pretty sure it is The Ringer’s new spin-off. 

Mississippi: Alabama without the great college football teams. 

Wow, strong take. As if being the subject of genocide and having your land stolen wasn’t enough, now some dipshit internet commenter doesn’t care about them!

This is such a hot, from WAY out in left field take that I couldn’t decide if I should laugh or sit in confused silence. Incredible.

He’s too old. We need a fresh face and some young blood to be the next POTUS.

So....basically...it would create a scenario where there are more blue states and blue districts because it would reverse what we have right now right. Like, gerrymandered to Republicans would = Democratic win because of this switcheroo.

Let him serve a few terms in Texas and then run for president, and then he can rack up all those sweet Texas electoral votes!

I would agree with that, if not for the fact that dogs are indeed better than cats.

Jesus Christ in just another Jew in Soros’ pocket to these people, I guess you could say

The holy ghost is staying out of this shit. 

I love Halloween and its a crazy holiday if you stop to think about it but I’m 100% of the camp that says come and knock on my door, I’ve got candy for you. I don’t care if you’re 5 or 15 or 50. Its a fun day with no crazy morality or religious thing tied to it. Lets all dress up as whatever you want, go out and get…

using it only to tell the pitcher “I banged your mom”