I'm 99% sure he pays her for her travel and somewhere for her to stay in Monaco. She brought this upon herself by getting his visa revoked. She thought it would guarantee her full custody & it blew up in her face. I have absolutely no sympathy for Kelly in this situation.

My dinner seems inadequate now knowing that it was neither Shepherd’s Pie nor made with love by Hugh Jackman :(

“What’s a pencil lead?”

Sleep is overrated

listen i already have to tell mori not to murder people, i don’t have time to do this with you. no killing, go play a video game fp.

As Hess notes, Holmes’ fandom is hardly unique and, on Tumblr, “any white boy with a haircut is eligible”

Wait. No. Is that how arguments and apologies work? That doesn’t sound right.

to every person saying ‘it’s a good apology but she shouldn’t have done something in the first place’

weird way to spell ‘ratings’

*tents paws*

Armadildo

In case this may help to curb the urge, I think it looks dreadful even on someone this beautiful. I mean, come on, there’s crap hanging out of her nose. Gross.

lol “butt here’s”

Buggered if I know either. Is it like Nazi Sesame St? Today’s genocide is brought to you by the letter H and the numbers 14 and 88? Totalitarian racists are weird, man. I don’t get any of it.

No offense, Stanley, but I think you’re more of a Nick Nolte than a George Clooney.

“Damn it Jerry, you told us you knew how to use iMovie!”

Not a restaurant story, but the movie theatre story reminded me:

Counter: Fucke That.