A dick is not a toothbrush.

For the same reason people falling down is hilarious. It just is.

Anything with a pelvis that small is probably in favor of slut pills.

Oh Jesus, Courtney would have suffocated him with her rubber cans. I know she would mean well, but those things just aren’t set up for baby babies of any sort.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy on the rough language.

They're what I like to call real jerks.

wow jia

What’s round and red and has seven little dents in it?

“I’d probably have 200 kids if I didn’t use condoms.”

Every time I see someone refer to it as “dipping”, I automatically assume it's like how Dairy Queen dips their soft serve into the candy shell stuff. Because dipping is a bad and dumb way to say scooping.

That McDonalds story had me laughing- as a former late-night drive-thru stoner, yeah, that wasn’t weed they were smoking. You don’t get violent on weed- everything is just, you know, awesome. “This is the best Whopper I’ve ever had! Which is weird because we were at Taco Bell!”

Also, ‘dildochugger’ is my new favorite…

“Josh was a boy, a young boy in puberty, and a little too curious about girls,” Jessa said.

WOOOOOOW I feel dumb!

So groping is ok as long as it’s within the family? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills

Americans spell Caitlin all sorts of KEWT and KREATIV ways that annoy the hell out of everyone around them.

The Irish spelling of Caitlin is with a C and I. Americans spell it with a K and Y. No matter that everyone is saying it’s shade to spell it with a C, I just can’t see it. She spelled her name more correctly, she opted to use the Y which kills me a little, but the C is right. That is all.

Air conditioning is the greatest gift Jesus ever gave us. I’d be a fool not to wallow in it until my nips are nice and stiff.