You missed the point by a mile and a half, kiddo. Unless your fiancee is also your daughter.

I commented on one of those. Something to the effect of "Oh great, a new way to let your impressionable daughter know she's a piece of property! She "belongs" to her father until he decides to let someone pork her? Great way to let a young woman know her worth!"

Maybe one of them's a doctor?

Rachel, I know this wonderful boy from B'nai Abraham, maybe give him a shot, I don't know, do what you want, you always do what you want. *emphatic hand wave*

Jewish lesbian penguins?

I really wish Chris Farley were still alive, because I feel like his impression of this guy on SNL would make me piss myself.

Nothing says "in touch with constituents" like considering "a couple thousand bucks" to be the normal cost of a Christmas gift.

This guy! It’s like he woke up one morning, probably sometime in his early teens, and was just like, “I’m going to make all the bad choices! Every one of ‘em! Let’s just see where it gets me!” And it got him a mayor-ship and a wife who inexplicably puts up with his bullshit.

The proper term for a collection of butt plugs is a stuffing. A stuffing of butt plugs.

Lame. But hey if by making me happy he means not raping, beating, catcalling, belittling, patronizing, controlling, sexually exploiting me, or expecting me to do shit for/be available to/like him and his Y -chromosomed cohort because I possess the poon, then make me happy.

While I am not 100 percent sure about my feelings regarding that statement, I am 100 percent sure that, yes, I would still hit that

Gender essentialism is so boring.

If Orlando Bloom was an animal, he'd be a Pander Bear.

Also according to this website the costumes weren't new to start:

Forget the costumes. I need that mustard dress yesterday.

Gay atheist kittens, preferably.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: repeal 501(c)(3) tax exemptions for religious organizations.

As a business owner my personal religious beliefs prohibit me from offering benefits to Catholics. That's okay now, right?

What the fuck??? Nobody is allowed to try to convince me that religion isn't harmful EVER FUCKING AGAIN.