What's wrong with Neon Gypsy...?

I can grab my love handles. Does that count?

Sooo... drag shows.

For some reason he looks like a toy doll next to Maisie Williams. And I don’t think of her as large at all...

I'll preface this by saying most of the honeymoon was amazing and it makes for a good story now, but at the time I was ready to be a widow.

Honestly, I don't care what they all do in the bedroom, so long as they're not complete hypocrites about it (i.e. I'm on marriage number 7, but gay marriage would ruin the sanctity of marriage!1!!).

Just in the past couple weeks, we have the Republican lawmaker who gave up his adopted kid to a child abuser, we have Republicans calling for guns on campuses to 'end campus rape,' we have GOP presidential hopeful Ben Carson saying homosexuality is a choice because prison rape, we have Republicans sneaking…

FIL. I've never quite been good enough for his perfect eldest son (I mean, I had the audacity to grow up middle class and had to WORK to pay for my education), so this incident was pretty much just an excuse to let me know how he really felt. We're somewhat better now... most of the time.

Ugh, how annoying.

A couple months in advance of our wedding, I decided no children would be invited. It was memorial day weekend at a country club populated by octogenarians and up, and I wanted no part of the stress involved with a wild pack of other peoples' spawn wreaking havoc on grandma's drinkin' time. So no kids.

The president promises education and economic opportunity for everyone; Republicans promise bread bags for your shoes. On the plus side, their talking Stepford Wife Ernst-Bot was almost convincingly human!

If they really want to erase women from the abortion debate entirely, get on that fucking synthetic uterus thing. Once I no longer have to ... oh I don't know... ACTUALLY FUCKING CARRY A FETUS FOR 9 MONTHS AND NEARLY DESTROY MY BODY GIVING BIRTH TO IT, you're welcome to feel ALL the feelz about the fetus that you…

Two years ago for Christmas, my husband's grandmother, who is generally very liberal, got the Sarah Palin book for my husband's dad, who is EXTREMELY liberal. He very nearly threw the book at her. She was angry at him for some sort of political argument they'd gotten in earlier in the week. He learned his lesson.

I don't know of it was a typo or intentional, but I love that the official statement refers to him as "the Grassley." Makes him sound even more like a head pimp/drug dealer. "Ey, if u want some of u kno what, u gotta talk to the Grassley."

Will they be made of cheese??

Let's also make it abundantly clear that any conservative who expounds upon the importance of free market capitalism and who isn't up in arms over this bullshit is a fucking hypocrite.

I dunno, Texas. Y'all are always quick to blame these things on God being mad about something. Maybe he's mad about all those abortion clinics you shut down. Just sayin'.

My strawberry corer. Everyone makes fun of me. Until they see it in action. And no, no you're not supposed to just eat the core and leafy green part. I refuse to believe that. Blech.

Well, I mean, if the toy hadn't been so appealing, the toy thief wouldn't have tried to steal it. The real lesson here is that we all just need to walk around with dolls made out of poop. Then no one will try to steal our toys. Or our safety.

Stop stealing Limbaugh's talking points...