Meanwhile, 19 people have died from gun violence since Monday, but who wants to take bets on which cause is more likely to outrage Republicans?!

Shall we take up a Jezebel collection and send this to Clint Eastwood? I feel like he needs it...

Shall we take up a Jezebel collection and send this to Clint Eastwood? I feel like he needs it...

Was the mediocre Mexican place SATco (San Antonio Taco Company)?!

I was talking about the name change with my mom the other day, and was utterly horrified to learn she doesn't think the name should be changed 'just to be PC.' We're Jewish, and she thought having a team called the Brooklyn Jewboys or Kansas Kikes would be unacceptable, but she just couldn't make the leap to apply…

conservative thought

Really? Not a single Lisa Frank reference?

I dress for comfort and ease when travelling. Leggings, a pretty but loose t shirt or tank, an oversized cardigan for when the plane invariably turns into a sky freezer, and either flip flops or uggs, depending on the season. Gets you through screening easier (worst mistake of my life was wearing a maxi dress one time…

I was just thinking I want to watch this tonight. But I may just cry.

She's so relateably-fashionable (Just go with it). She makes you feel like if you could just drag your lazy ass out of bed 40 minutes earlier (or at least 10 minutes before you're going to miss the bus) you could look like her. She's inspirational because her style is attainable. And then you remember you're 20lbs…

"I don't need femisnisn because femisnists are just looking for reasons to hate men when all they need to do is watch Michael Bay's TMNT"

I'm crying at my desk, and I will ABSOLUTELY GO ALL BRITNEY SPEARS CRYING SUPERFAN ON ANYONE WHO DISSES TAYLOR RIGHT NOW. K, thanks.

I feel like a pug. I've never done so many head-tilts in one Jezebel article.

Oh please run for president, Michelle. Please! We need more lolz as we watch the last remaining vestiges of your party explode in a glorious miasma of homophobia, racism, sexism and classism.

Ohmygod it's a JACKET. With Flotsam and Jetsam on the front!! Would it be weird to put this on my birthday list? I mean, I'm only turning 30...

I... kind of want the Ursula sweatshirt thing.

Lillie Davis sat on the pot
Lillie Davis was pushing a lot
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't stop baby Livia from being toilet-sent.

Edit for rhyme scheme. Whoops.

I will do the laundry (andtherestofthehousekeepingandchildrearing)
If you make all the rules
Where is my Bülent Arınç
Where is my Turkish brawn?
Where is my happy ending
Where have all women's rights gone?

It took me a second. Now I'm choking.

Yeah, but you know the whole trip was full of grandpa stories like "back when I was a kid, we had to walk to school uphill. Both ways. On the backs of poor people!"